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Post by Del on Oct 10, 2012 21:29:19 GMT -5
Hi all!
I just wanted to drop in and do some sharing.. I know this board isn't as lively as it used to be, but hopefully we will keep dropping by and sharing.
With that said, I wanted to share some of my most recent experiences.
I've been waking up at 3 am [or around 3 am] everyday for he past week and a half. It's been my unconscious realm that has been calling out to me to "Wake up"; yes, those words have been said. It's like hearing your breath speak - knowing that it came from your self yet also knowing that you didn't not verbally say it.
I've dreamt of a conflict arising within my extended community [my friends outside of my work place] and have decided to pull back from them so that I can understand and deepen this relationship with my unconscious and be fully dedicated to my new place of work. Well, now there is a conflict in my extended circle - and within myself as I realize that it appears to be time to release these people from my circle of friends. They're not horrible people - it's just that I am growing into a space they are not at, and where they are is not supportive to where I am going. I respect them as individuals, but I do recognize it's time for me to move on.
So far I've only stated that I'll be MIA for a while - I have yet to share with them that I am going to not be a part of their circle.
Ever heard of the Midas Touch? Well, let's just say I am developing a touch where things are imbued with the energetic signature of my divine origins.
And recently, my fountains within and beyond no longer have crystal clear water flowing through them - instead there is this fluid, milky golden light substance that flows through them. And it is this same thing I imbue my food, drink, and body products with.
I am being called to develop my constellation of support as I begin the journey of writing my memoir - I spoke with a writing coach today and feel really good about working with her. I also emailed one of the Transpersonal psychotherapists in the Spiritual Emergence Network that was one of my mentors during my Master's program, to see if he'd be interested in dialoguing and engaged with my process.
Although I work for a private non-profit, I am not paid a WHOLE lot of munny....so to afford the coaching services, I will be doing a fundraiser using Indiegogo.com, the gift offerings will be some keys I will make from craft wire..since my memoir will be about the journey from the facade of Raquel to the Essential authentic quality of Alaya [I've legally changed my entire name, so Alaya is my name now}.
I've rediscovered stories I used to write, from 9 years ago, and have found hints of my purpose for me. So it's like having written notes for myself of today from my self of the past. How neat!
More to share as it comes...
Del
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Post by KG on Oct 11, 2012 4:18:16 GMT -5
Well all of this sounds like great news. I am excited that you will be writing and your job sounds like a great experience. Even though it may not be a LOT of money I assume it is a living wage. Plus it might lead to advancements.
As for your friends, well everyone is different but in general most people can take a hint without it being spelled out to them. I would not make a big deal of leaving their circle. It's usually best to just drift out of these sorts of friend circles without much explanation. It's really hard to explain without hurt feelings, and other people's drama can be avoided by just being busy for a few weeks. They will probably stop calling you eventually. That's usually for the best in the long run. Then later if you do need to talk to them for some reason it isn't so uncomfortable. At least that's been my experience... that breaking up with friends is not necessary in most cases.
I am feeling a lot more positive this week myself. I think I finally reached my tolerance point for moping. I am finally understanding poverty more. I totally get it as a matter of fact.
Poverty is, like all the other bad things in the world, caused by fear. The more fear in the world the more poverty. The fear of the rich takes the form of greed and the more afraid they become of losing their fortunes the more they scheme to take money from the poor. Investors become afraid also and don't invest and this hurts the economy. The deciding factor though is the poor themselves. When the poor themselves become afraid they are really sunk.
It is actually you, Alaya who personify the best way to respond to poverty. You suffered it a while, and then went on to follow your dreams no matter how impractical everyone around you thought it was. You persevered and found a grand design among the rubble. Most poor people forget how to dream. They stop thinking big and start living under the worst of circumstances. They take jobs that pay next to nothing and they lose the confidence they need to keep looking for something better. They fear relocating because they might fail.
kudos on being a great example !!!
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Post by Del on Oct 17, 2012 17:16:10 GMT -5
Well all of this sounds like great news. I am excited that you will be writing and your job sounds like a great experience. Even though it may not be a LOT of money I assume it is a living wage. Plus it might lead to advancements. It's all working out for the best in these moments, and for that I am grateful. Thank you Kim. This is a huge compliment, at least for me it is. I hope it does show that you can make it with just your dreams and intuition; you've just got to weather the storm, persevere, and know deep down that it is what's true. It is possible...and I will NOT give up, regardless of what ANYBODY says. ^_^ There is still more to be done. This is truly only the beginning. Much Love! I am also glad to hear that you are feeling lot better than before.
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Post by KG on Oct 19, 2012 0:10:28 GMT -5
Hi Alaya,
Sorry I didn't log in. I am having technical difficulties with my computers. My newer one is giving a lot of trouble and so Bear has created a sort of Frankenstine machine out of my old one and another old one and I really don't want to press my luck with it. I sure hope my newer one straightens out. I think it is possessed. The monitor keeps flashing to a plain white screen. I am running anti-virus and disk check scans on it now.
That's good. I greatly admire your ability to take those risks and make things work. I mean WOW you are in California. I can't even imagine it. It's so cool!!!
Well it is a huge compliment from me, because this is what I have been wondering about and thinking about. It's a test for my question... that even when everyone else is scared you can still step out in courage... faith... will or whatever and make it work for you personally. I was not sure it would work with this much fear in the air. It certainly takes courage to take that leap of faith to travel all around like you do. I think you may have found a great place though, at least for now... and maybe for a long while. I always thought California would be cool.
Of course perhaps the energy in California is probably more hopeful than NC or NY. Everything there is always totally different than here from what I gather from reading. I wish I could see it.
Yes, that's what it takes. Glad you stuck too it and that you are getting more information on what you need to be doing with your project as well.
Yes, I have felt much better since the weather cooled off. I am not sure what else changed but I am better. I am trying to relearn a lot of things that I used to know. It's funny how the lessons you learn when you are young have to be adapted or that they have to go so much deeper in order to work than when I was young. Overall I am still wrestling with myself but the good news I think the right me. .. The brave me is going to win. You are an inspiration to the battle. Love Ya, Kim
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Post by Del on Oct 22, 2012 22:45:35 GMT -5
Thanks Kim.
So, now I have a goal that's huge, that I will accomplish: I'm applying for my PhD, and I will use my desire to share the magic and power in my dreams as research material.
AND, the only condition I have is that I receive scholarships and contributions from people...meaning, I will not pay for school through loans. I can't take out anymore loans anyway. In a small sense it's like saying "If you wish to learn my secrets, you will have to pay to hear it." I can surely do this without going to school; my point and purpose is not to go to school, but to reveal something to the research community...
So, yes, have an idea on how to pay for my program. One of which is to develop a team that will assist in the whole 3yr process. Sounds unrealistic, but I know I can do it. The thought of how much it will cost does not deter me, so I know I am on the right track.
More details soon.
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Post by Kim on Oct 29, 2012 1:26:31 GMT -5
I think it is wonderful that you are open to getting your PhD. You are right in saying that you don't HAVE to have a degree to pursue your dreams... literally or figuratively, but it would be wonderful to have your PhD. I am very excited about your plans.
Sorry it's been a while. I have had computer trouble lately... and a bit of accompanying brain trouble... I didn't realize how hooked on typing and internet i am. I work, and get most of my relaxation and recreation from the computer. I had some time off while my big laptop was on the fritz... and now I am on the little gray one, which my husband had to repair in order to use. My beautiful black one with the big screen seems to be ruined for the most part. It is flawed by design because the case is too thin for the length of it. It literally bends when I lift it. The motherboard takes up the whole bottom and I think it may have a stress crack, but if so it doesn't show to look at it... but I think it could really broken... Every time we get it to work for a few days it quits... no display on the monitor. My husband says he'll try to work on it again some time but he's really busy. This gray one is so ssssslllllllloooowwwwwwwwwww. but it is a LOT better than nothing.
I am wondering if Divine will come home for Thanksgiving or my birthday and stuff. She has a boyfriend... ::)so I don't really know. I have not seen her since mid September. I miss her. Other than that, everything is pretty cool here.
Oooops I forgot to log in. Oh well I'll go ahead and post like a guest. love, Kim
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Post by Del on Oct 29, 2012 1:58:25 GMT -5
Yep...even if it's not a PhD, I will still get it done. All of my dreams last night pointed to obstacles with regards to my project...but I defeated all of them! I think what I am here to do will cause a lot of stirring of uncomfortable emotions within a few people...so I just need to be careful as I move forward. I will be tested...and ppl will not like it...but I will prevail! Also, my predecessors said they're coming down to help me! [coming down from the stars, apparently] Yay!!! Of course I don't know when...you know how time is in the Nether realms... I'm slowly gathering my teammates for my memoir! And I wIll be speaking with one Analyst this Saturday to see if I'd like to add her to my team. There's a writing coach that would love to work with me, one analyst from my graduate coursework that would love to work with me...so I am slowly gathering my pieces!!!!!!!! I am totally excited!!!! And here's a link to my blog: alayadannu.wordpress.com/My most recent posts are derived from journal entries [not dream journals, just my contemplation journals] - Amrit, Ambrosia, and the Greatest Love of All...as well as Journeying. Enjoy! More updates soon....
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