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Post by a'Lan Mandragoran on Nov 19, 2009 13:28:21 GMT -5
I went and really done it this time. I got busy cleaning my room the other day. I figured with the inordinate mess I had and the holiday coming up, I figured I'd get a start cleaning. Well, my mother didn't exactly take too well to that. She called my brother to bring the kids over to help me "straighten out." Well, my brother being of sound mind came over without my nephews and literally told my mom to F***** off... Now I'm over at my brother's house. My mom pretty well is angry bur still expects us to come over for Thanks Giving (can't figure out the logic there) but my dad's threatening divorce now because of this. I say his outburst is a little too late. I've since developed a case of OCD (clean freak symptoms and over organization) that I can't break, probably because I've lived in a shithole for so long.
On an up note, I have off until December 7th and after that it's 3 months until graduation!... Bad part about that though, 6 months after grad, I will be expected to dump money into an exorbitant Student loan. At least I have a clean place to study and be organized!
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Post by Del on Nov 19, 2009 13:59:51 GMT -5
I went and really done it this time. I got busy cleaning my room the other day. I figured with the inordinate mess I had and the holiday coming up, I figured I'd get a start cleaning. Well, my mother didn't exactly take too well to that. She called my brother to bring the kids over to help me "straighten out." Well, my brother being of sound mind came over without my nephews and literally told my mom to F***** off... Now I'm over at my brother's house. My mom pretty well is angry bur still expects us to come over for Thanks Giving (can't figure out the logic there) but my dad's threatening divorce now because of this. I say his outburst is a little too late. I've since developed a case of OCD (clean freak symptoms and over organization) that I can't break, probably because I've lived in a shithole for so long. On an up note, I have off until December 7th and after that it's 3 months until graduation!... Bad part about that though, 6 months after grad, I will be expected to dump money into an exorbitant Student loan. At least I have a clean place to study and be organized! Hey Lan, a note on the student loan thing - I'm way over my head in loans, but if you're not employed you can ask for a deferment, or if you're not able to pay the monthly without having to struggle, you can ask for an economic hardship deferment [don't know how long that lasts though].
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Post by KG on Nov 20, 2009 18:53:45 GMT -5
Cool that you are living with your brother now. That should make job hunting easier, and everything else too. Anyway it's not so bad... obviously everyone took your side, and how long as it been since that happened? Hmmm? Your brother and dad stuck up for you, and that's always cool.
I think you could get an extension on your loans, since you aren't working. IDK how it works, but I know some people put off paying them indefinately.
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Post by ~Sephity~ on Nov 23, 2009 11:07:52 GMT -5
I'm glad to hear that things are starting to get better for you in the sense of living arrangements and such hun.
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Post by a'Lan Mandragoran on Nov 30, 2009 15:27:44 GMT -5
I dislike living with my brother but what can I do? My mom says I'm a "pox on the earth" now. My dad's lost his will to leave my mom it seems, which is probably for the best. My mom'll prolly kill herself if my dad leaves her but meh. I just wanted to say things are good now and I had a pretty ok thanks giving. I didn't have to cook anything this year! Usually I'm forced to do all the cooking while my mom complains about the mess. I don't mind the cooking part but the complaints that I'm making an unholy mess got annoying. She'd be trying to clean up while I'm cooking and getting in my way throughout the whole thing and then wonder why the food's not ready when the family arrives. Times like this, when there's equal parts good and bad though, I always think, "it could be worse" and move along.
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Post by KG on Dec 2, 2009 1:44:04 GMT -5
I think staying with your brother might be really nice. He stuck up for you, so you know he cares about you. I also think it would be easier to mount a job search from his place than your moms. IT's like all your obsticles are removed, so why do you hate staying with your brother? He seems to really want to help you, and sometimes it's good to let people help when they obviously want to. It makes them feel good, and it helps you.
As for your mom, it'll be good for her too. She's overprotective to the point it seems nutty, but she loves you I guess... she just doesn't have any faith in your abilities, which is having a negative effect on both of you. She's become phobic of your possible independence, and she's done her best to convince you that you are somehow incompetent... but you aren't it's just her. Anyway she needs to see that you can make it on your own, but she's afraid to risk it. She'd rather have you be a dependent child forever, than risk what might happen if you became independent. The best thing to do is become successful and THEN eventually approach her as an equal,adult. It's probably best for both of you that you are apart right now.
You have already succeeded in finishing school, and soon you will graduate. Soon you WILL find a job. Being with your brother, and away from your mother will help you alot. I think it will make you more confident, and also SHE won't be answering the phone when perspective employers call, and she won't be in the way when you want to go out and apply for jobs. Generally you will be free to approach your goals unhampered, and my guess is that every day you are away from her is a day you grow more confident and self assured.
Everything will be fine Lan, and your father and your brother both took a stand on your behalf. You should use this opportunity which they have given you to make progress towards your goals.
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