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Post by KG on Jun 16, 2008 12:27:58 GMT -5
Lately I am having some serious problems. Nothing seems clear cut, and it is all just running together. I have a list of things I need to get done in the physical, but I am having trouble making myself do any of them.
I have a cold and that isn't helping. I don't really know if the problem is mental, physical, or spiritual. I just feel weak as water on all planes. I've posted about my will on another place on the boards, and it has occured to me I am just being whiney. LOL Anyway I was feeling bad before the cold, but now it is so much worse.
Whatever the problem is I know the answer isn't chain smoking and playing mine sweeper because I am too lazy to even do a decent game... and since I don't normally play games there aren't any good ones on my computer. My mouse doesn't work well, and I am too lazy to clean that, so a more challenging game would be useless. I don't really want to play games. I just don't want to do anything.
Anyway I need to feel better, but really I am just so tired. I've been taking my thyroid, and my vitimins, but it isn't helping. I do feel weak willed, and after looking at the situation it isn't that others are doing anything to me, it is just that I can't seem to motivate anymore. There is nothing in it for me, and I am not having fun... even if I logically should be. I am just too tired to have fun. I usually know what is going on in the astral at least, but lately that is even more confusing than the real world, and it all seems way over my head at the moment.
I feel like someone just stuck a sip it straw in me and sucked the life out, but I don't think anyone "did" this to me... IT isnt' the first time I have felt this way either, not by a long shot. I've considered that maybe my spiritual practices have taken a lot out of me, but there are times when those make me feel better. Right now I am not practicing anything except this stupid little video game. I feel too drained to even think. My mind, and body seem to be stuck... like when their is a leak in the fuel line of the car, and no matter how hard you press the accelerator, it won't go any faster. I really don't know what happened. Does anyone have a clue? It has been this way for a while, but it is just getting worse and worse. Any suggestions?
Kim
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Post by Kata Samoes on Jun 18, 2008 11:33:08 GMT -5
..You're not alone.
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Post by KG on Jun 18, 2008 19:31:33 GMT -5
Do you have any idea what causes this? I've been trying to figure it out... i have a couple of theories, but none of them seem to fit just right.
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Post by Kata Samoes on Jun 18, 2008 22:40:57 GMT -5
No, not yet. It may be the veil...
Or the Moon.
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Post by Del on Jun 18, 2008 23:19:09 GMT -5
An acceleration in any type of shift causes all kinds of issues, especially for the human body.
Last week I hit rock bottom with being sick because of, in the very least, my transformational changes. But it took about three weeks for my body to adjust to it. It started with slight head hurts because of all of the information I was being fed, and then I literally had trouble breathing because I was taken so wuickly by the amount of information, to where it literally 'stole my breath away'. I couldn't breath at day or night, and going to sleep I was concerned a lot with because I just couldn't breath - due to nasal congestion physically, but it wasmy 6th, 7h, and 8th chakra that were in overhaul with the energy and information I was receiving.
Then Last week I hit a slight fever, knew i's hit a very high HIGH with taking in a lot and my body needed rest - having had to take two days off from work.
My voice has changed as well - it carries more power than it did before. Everything has been affected this past three weeks. As soon as I tatooed 'resonance' onto my left wrist this past Saturday, I began to feel a lot better, things were clearer, but yet things seemed so....hard to say. Not entirely surreal but yet transparent.
Looking at a bird flap it's wings, I feel it in my limbs. Obsvering a man lift heavy htings I feel his movements stir deep within me. Seeing the trees bend to the breeze, I feel it in my body.
Kim, perhaps you are going through the same cramming of info into your sytem. I was very confused at first because it was so sudden, me not being able to breath, and I was worried. BUt I tuned into my physical body and spiritual body to see what was wrong, and immediately saw the issue, as well as felt it.
Have you tried any form of meditation yet? Any communication with your higher self? What is your body telling you?
The moon phases between the New and the Full for this month does have some sort of connection to what's going on with your body and sense too.
But what is your bod telling you? What is happening around you family wise, and what information have you read or stumbled upon that resonates? What events or concepts, or anything at all, are constantly reoccurring?
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Post by Wunderkind on Jun 19, 2008 21:02:03 GMT -5
Oh, so I'm not the only one, then? xD Ever since that soul attack (about a year ago), I've never quite been the same in terms of energy. Then things seemed to get worse and worse, until my energy literally did a 180 and it went from Light to Dark. At the time, my energy scale peaked, but when it turned back to Light, my energy went all the way back down again. Every so often I get it all back, but then I'm down to like... normality? o.O I've gotten used to it, but I wish I had all my energy back.
Despite, I could lend you some if you want. =)
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Post by KG on Jun 22, 2008 23:07:22 GMT -5
It sounds like all of us are going through some unusual changes right now. You are definitely not the only one... several years ago it seemed like the difficulty level of the overall situatation got harder, and lately... well I don't have a clue what is happening, but I am sure something is.
I have the same head in the clouds feeling I get when I am distracted by getting information on the astral. Unfortuantely nothing is coming in clearly, and hasn't for months. I really don't understand anything that is going on astrally or in the natural. Like I told Bear my perception is like looking for a specific black shirt, in a dark room, with a huge pile of black laundry. Everyone wants to know where their specific shirt is, but all i see is a tangle of non discript black cloth. I no longer see each thing as seperate, things... nor can I tell what anything is anymore. The layers of the physical and etherial, and astral realms are just overlapping, and making it hard to see anything. All I see is a mess... It is extremely depressing. I feel blinded by excessive seeing of everything at once... to the point i really see nothing.
Overall I feel resistance, like walking through hip deep mud on the physical realm, as if I have to fight just to put one foot in front of the other. I've been experiencing a lot of "minor inconveniences" and major upheavals in life in general.
Many people here seem to be having problems which are like resistance in one form or another. I am not sure what it is.
I have tried meditations, and even deep trance. Results have been far from ideal... if I dont' go deep enough, nothing seems real... it feels like I am making it up, controling it or making myself see things that aren't real. If I go deeper, I can't remember any thing much when I come out of trance, and a few times I actually went to sleep. I have tried a little bit of letting Gary type, but again either I feel like I am writing myself, or he just beats around the bush and says very little till I get sleepy, and give up. It is like he doesn't want to tell me something. I did get the feeling... last tuesday I think it was, that my ablities are trying to level out... and return. I did sense a few things that were like I used to feel. I think maybe I will try again soon to let Gary type. It is so strange how quiet he is. Normally he is just eager to talk but lately... he's been very non informative, and so have most of the entities I normally speak with.
Now sometimes late at night when I am typing PMs to friends, or posts on the board, i do feel him correcting my english, or making something sound a bit more flowery. He helped me a lot with my Post to SB always, earlier, and my dream interpretation I did for her. He took over completely at times during those posts, but he won't just talk to me in general. I do sense that he wants to PM SB so I might let him do that.
I know that if Gary is hiding something from me, I have this problem. We can't communicate, and as a result don't funciton well... and my abilities get very mixed up. I think this may be the problem... There is something he doesn't want to tell me, so it makes him seem distant. If HE is distant it throws off my whole perception of things.
Do you think there might be something going on that we aren't supposed to know about? Consciously I mean? Overall I do feel that we are experiencing some kind of news black out... or at least some of us are. I have no idea why.
Kim
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Post by wolfblade25 on Jun 23, 2008 9:52:39 GMT -5
I must admit that I havent been on spirit sense these past few weeks not just because of my schedule, but because i have been feeling very weak willed somehow, as if i have nothing to contribute. I feel like a piece of myself has been taken out....yet nothing out of the ordinary has happened within that time. My intellectual functions have wained and spiritually i feel so distant. Lord knows I hope this is temporary. And it seems to have hit a few other people i know.
with the possible "blackout", All we can do is speculate and theorize But we will see what the future brings us, and what this will metamorphazise into.
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Post by Wunderkind on Jun 23, 2008 19:28:11 GMT -5
KG: Perhaps, maybe we're not supposed to know yet.
Upon medating, I've found out that my Selves have split again (for those who didn't know, we all merged around a year ago), and the main one (Mem, the second original me) has decided to lock my energy for my own best interest. For what reasons, I don't know, but at this point I really do not feel I am ready to know. Knowing means involvement, involvement means effort, effort means consequence, consequence means leaving behind the routine I've struggled to build and make sense of called life. I'm a tad young for that kind of responsibility, because I know I'd be responsible for something that requires as much attention as the physical. I'm not a good multi-tasker.
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Post by KG on Jun 27, 2008 9:15:57 GMT -5
I feel that way sometimes, and I have felt also like I didn't want to bring everyone down with how bad I feel, but reading what you are saying, and how much I wanted to hear from you, I think we need to post to eachother even if we are feeling bad. Apparently it is connected.
I am not sure if what I feel is physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, but it seems to be all of the above. It is hard to make myself do anything and people are nagging at me on the physical. If I felt better I think I'd run away from home. LOL How many 48 year old moms run away? Well I guess a lot if you count divorce, but this isn't like that. I'm getting along OK with Bear, but overall I just can't hang with all the depressing stuff, and negative emotions that are hitting me from all directions from everyone including me. Maybe I should go for a walk outside, but it is so hot. I can't think of anywhere I want to be besides my farm, but I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere else I can think of either. I'd like to be out behind the barn perhaps or go for a walk if I could muster the energy. I need to clean the house though, and that alone is enough to make me want to run. LOL
I am sorry you came apart again Mem. I can see though why that wide variety of your past selves can't really maintain adhesion to each other. You've been a lot of different things through the years. I don't know how you can do it. The way you were before was fun with all the different characters talking to each other, and I think if you would still do that, you might come to some kind of understanding of yourself, if not the situation.
I think I want to know, but since I don't know what there is to know, I might be wrong in that. I feel rotten, and if I knew I'd have to do something, probably. I need to do things on the physical and I seem to be able to put a lot of them off. I should really try to figure this out. It wouldn't hurt to know what is going on, even if I can't do anything about it right away.
Kim
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Post by Wunderkind on Jun 29, 2008 23:56:31 GMT -5
I suppose that is true. Well no, that is quite true, or else I wouldn't have read that paragraph 3 or 5 times. ;P In any event, I've gotten used to Silence and it will be awkward talking to my Selves again, so to speak (no pun intended).
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Post by KG on Oct 28, 2008 17:15:07 GMT -5
It has been a while since a lot of us posted, and I know I was kind of waiting for someone to say something... I don't know much lately that's worth talking about.
I read this thread and what I do have to say fits in this thread. I feel even worse than I did back in June. i hate to whine to you guys... I know I am just getting old probably. LOL It is getting kind of bad though, and circumstances are screwing with me.
My watch battery went dead again... I know that just happens happens to me, but the thing is all the batteries in all my other watches are dead... but I do have a novelty pocket watch that I stuck in my purse. I am used to having a watch though and now I feel strangely disorganized and disoriented even more than usual.
Due to an odd run of mechanical luck, I have no car, or more correctly my daughter has borrowed my car because hers isn't road worthy at the moment, and she has to go to school... so she perpetually has my car. My husband's jeep is out front, and I thought I could use it, but strangely the tire is flat.
It doesn't matter much though, cause I have a terrible cold, a lot of weird aches and pains, and some problems very rediculous old lady problems I don't even want to go into, but overall physically I am miserable, and to top it off I have a slight itchy rash.
I don't feel like doing anything, and when I try I feel like I am goijng to colapse. I mean I don't think I am dying or anything, just weird miserable stuff that makes me feel yucky.
I'd planned to start an exercies program, but now I am not able, and I have serious bronchitis that is to the point of feeling like asthma, so I don't expect it would be a good idea to go run around the yard, even if I felt like it which I do not.
In the astral I am sensing a lot of creepy pain bodies... One my younger daughter and I both see is a small humanoid, naked with it's eyes sewn shut... it is climbing around on the walls. I would normally get rid of it, but I dont' even feel like getting out of my chair to deal with it... or exerting the spiritual energy either. I don't even care for some reason. Normally I'd want to fight this thing, or at least figure out what it is and why it is here, but who gives a f**k. It is a low level, like an astral c**kroach... I am bored with it.
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