Post by KG on Jan 18, 2006 20:03:09 GMT -5
I found this in my archives of parable type examples. It is too silly to use in a book, but I thought you might find it funny, and there is some insight into the fundamentalist mindset as well.
Toaster Fork
Guilt: The problem with Religion
I was thinking about the Christian concept of sin today, and I got a little revelation. Suppose Proctor Scilex got the following letter.
Dear God of Toaster World,
I have sinned against you greatly, as I went in direct rebellion of your manual. I put a fork into my/your toaster today, and I gather from the book that came with my toaster, I have committed an atrocious act. I have been plagued with guilt, and I feel very dirty. I beg your forgiveness, but as this is apparently an unpardonable sin, I will probably spend the rest of my life in hideous guilt for doing that awful deed.
What is worse, I got a little electrical jolt, and although most of me thought it hurt, part of me thought it felt good. I will likely do it again, and therefore I cannot honestly repent. I know I am now doomed to toaster hell.
I will try very hard to refrain from this sinful act in the future, but if you do not hear from me again you will know that I have fallen into toaster decadence, and do not deem myself worthy to communicate further with such a powerful and perfect deity as yourself. Please help me not to desire the forking of the toaster, with its tingly electrical buzz, so painful, and yet so pleasurable. I confess that I am a sinner, and a truly sick person. Please forgive me.
Sincerely
Toaster Freak
Of course the letter above is intended as humor, and I hope no one was offended, though I am almost certain that someone was. Someone is always offended, and I wish some therapist would come up with a self-help book for those kinds of people who are so touchy. Of course such a book would be very offensive to those who are easily offended and lack a sense of humor, so I suppose no one would buy it, unless they bought it for the soul purpose of burning or otherwise ritualistically destroying it.
I used the example anyway, because I wanted to show how silly and unproductive guilt sounds when we take the perceived stigma away from a so-called sinful act. I deliberately alluded to a sexual act because most people put so much emphasis on sex as the most awful of sins. This is especially true if it is something a little deviant from the norm. I went on with my metaphor to show how the feeling of guilt actually leads us to fall again and again into the same self-destructive pattern. Following the pattern then leads to withdrawing from our perception of God, and prevents us from seeking further help. It fills us with shame, which can be crippling and prevent us from being productive in other areas of our lives. We are afraid to tell others of our ‘sin’ and thus cannot get any council on the possibility that we had a natural reaction, which is understandable, and something we can choose to do or not to do in the future. Without such an understanding we may feel compelled to perpetually repeat potentially self-destructive behavior without ever analyzing why.
Often people are too ashamed to even think logically about an act they find both pleasurable, and abhorrent. They keep it secret, in a sense even from themselves, partitioning that memory off, until the desire becomes overwhelming because of repression. Then they repeat the cycle of sin yields guilt, guilt yields repression, and repression yields a backlash of sin, which leads to more guilt and so on. Thus forking the toaster has ruined yet another life, a life which could have been saved if someone had just shown a little mercy and logic with themselves. God is love and mercy. We must learn to understand compulsion, not repress it and allow it to fester and breakout again and again. It is only when we objectively analyze our behavior, and accept it for what it is that we can begin to outgrow our cycles, and become truly free of strange compulsions.
Sticking a fork in a toaster may not be sinful, but it could be dangerous, and lead to injury. That is why that is in the user’s guide. It is not intended to provoke guilt, only caution, and intelligent and informed behavior. If people would look at their Bibles, and other religious texts the same way, perhaps there would be less compulsive behavior. Living in a state of perpetual guilt is not the answer. Forgiveness and understanding are the keys to breaking any potentially deadly cycle.
Dear Toaster God,
I have now successfully repented of my sin of toaster forking. It has been six months since I last forked a toaster and got that deliciously sinful tingly jolt for the last time. I was wondering if other people have had the same experience. I want to form a group, and teach others not to sin against their toasters.
I still remember the pleasure of it, and I am sure that others are getting their filthy forks all over the toasters of the world, even as I write this. I wish to stop this carnage in its tracks.
Sincerely
Ex Toaster Freak
A later communication:
Dear Toaster God,
Last week I wrote you that I was planning to start a self-help group for people who had a strange urge to insert forks into their toasters, but now as I think more about it, perhaps a legal or moral outrage against toaster forking should be more appropriate. I think toaster forkers should be punished… severely! I hate those who are into toaster abuse, and I resent them. I can’t stand the idea of it now. It repulses me, and I know how deadly this sin is. We must start a moral outcry against this evil, and put toaster forkers in their place! Jail is the place for them. Heap fires of guilt on them and toss them in jail. I will lead the campaign against them. I despise those who perform such hideous and sinful acts, which I am now too holy to commit, though I still fight that urge every day. We must fight this overwhelming compulsion with vehemence, and hatred.
Sincerely,
Ex- Toaster Freak
Now we see that there is no one as self righteous as an ex- toaster forker. Ex Toaster Freak has stopped sinning, not because he wanted to, or because it made sense to him to stop, but simply out of guilt. The desire is still there, and deep down he doesn’t understand what is wrong with toaster forking, he just thinks it is evil. He doesn’t understand that the makers of the toaster simply didn’t want him to get electrocuted. He thinks it has to do with cruelty to toasters, and some sort of morality issue. Even if it were a morality issue is a lynch mob mentality really the answer?
It is obvious, to everyone except Ex Toaster Freak, that the reason he resents Toaster Forkers, is because he still wants to fork his toaster, and really doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t, other than his strange guilt issues. He has repressed the original reason for putting the fork in the toaster to start with, which was simply to make it let go of his Eggo, which had become entangled. He had an experience he didn’t fully understand, and for some strange reason he found it pleasurable. So what. That is the way life is, isn’t it? We accidentally do something in a moment of less than clear thought. We realize it was a mistake, we experience shame, and the next thing you know we have habits and compulsions. When we un-naturally break those habits without proper consideration for our own desires, roughly denying ourselves what we perceive as pleasure, we begin to resent our loss. We become bitter, and hateful. We seek to spite those who still manage to enjoy life, even non-toaster forkers. They must be doing something wrong, they are having fun, and obviously they could not be having fun and still living righteous lives. Something is wrong with them… right?
Ex-Toaster Freak has closed himself off from enjoyment, and feels that he was forced to do so for the sake of morality, and the fear of toaster hell. There is no reward for his sacrifice, only the absence of punishment, and the easing of his guilt. He still desires and lusts for his toaster. Ex-Toaster Freak has become a hypocrite. He wants to do those things he will not allow, and he hates those who see nothing wrong with toaster forking.
So should he just forget all this and continue in his transgressions, now that he knows better? Well perhaps, except that the warning was in the book for some reason. Perhaps he should look at what drove him to place the fork into the toaster the first time. Possibly by realizing he meant no harm, he would ease his conscience a little bit. It also might be worthwhile to understand why toaster manufacturers prohibit toaster forking. If he understood that 120 electrical current could be pulled from the plugged in toaster, up the metal fork, and directly into his clinched hand, which could contract and make it impossible to let go of the fork, and that the electricity could run up his arm and to his heart, and the rest of his body, he might be more inclined to stop taking chances with his toaster.
Toaster Fork
Guilt: The problem with Religion
I was thinking about the Christian concept of sin today, and I got a little revelation. Suppose Proctor Scilex got the following letter.
Dear God of Toaster World,
I have sinned against you greatly, as I went in direct rebellion of your manual. I put a fork into my/your toaster today, and I gather from the book that came with my toaster, I have committed an atrocious act. I have been plagued with guilt, and I feel very dirty. I beg your forgiveness, but as this is apparently an unpardonable sin, I will probably spend the rest of my life in hideous guilt for doing that awful deed.
What is worse, I got a little electrical jolt, and although most of me thought it hurt, part of me thought it felt good. I will likely do it again, and therefore I cannot honestly repent. I know I am now doomed to toaster hell.
I will try very hard to refrain from this sinful act in the future, but if you do not hear from me again you will know that I have fallen into toaster decadence, and do not deem myself worthy to communicate further with such a powerful and perfect deity as yourself. Please help me not to desire the forking of the toaster, with its tingly electrical buzz, so painful, and yet so pleasurable. I confess that I am a sinner, and a truly sick person. Please forgive me.
Sincerely
Toaster Freak
Of course the letter above is intended as humor, and I hope no one was offended, though I am almost certain that someone was. Someone is always offended, and I wish some therapist would come up with a self-help book for those kinds of people who are so touchy. Of course such a book would be very offensive to those who are easily offended and lack a sense of humor, so I suppose no one would buy it, unless they bought it for the soul purpose of burning or otherwise ritualistically destroying it.
I used the example anyway, because I wanted to show how silly and unproductive guilt sounds when we take the perceived stigma away from a so-called sinful act. I deliberately alluded to a sexual act because most people put so much emphasis on sex as the most awful of sins. This is especially true if it is something a little deviant from the norm. I went on with my metaphor to show how the feeling of guilt actually leads us to fall again and again into the same self-destructive pattern. Following the pattern then leads to withdrawing from our perception of God, and prevents us from seeking further help. It fills us with shame, which can be crippling and prevent us from being productive in other areas of our lives. We are afraid to tell others of our ‘sin’ and thus cannot get any council on the possibility that we had a natural reaction, which is understandable, and something we can choose to do or not to do in the future. Without such an understanding we may feel compelled to perpetually repeat potentially self-destructive behavior without ever analyzing why.
Often people are too ashamed to even think logically about an act they find both pleasurable, and abhorrent. They keep it secret, in a sense even from themselves, partitioning that memory off, until the desire becomes overwhelming because of repression. Then they repeat the cycle of sin yields guilt, guilt yields repression, and repression yields a backlash of sin, which leads to more guilt and so on. Thus forking the toaster has ruined yet another life, a life which could have been saved if someone had just shown a little mercy and logic with themselves. God is love and mercy. We must learn to understand compulsion, not repress it and allow it to fester and breakout again and again. It is only when we objectively analyze our behavior, and accept it for what it is that we can begin to outgrow our cycles, and become truly free of strange compulsions.
Sticking a fork in a toaster may not be sinful, but it could be dangerous, and lead to injury. That is why that is in the user’s guide. It is not intended to provoke guilt, only caution, and intelligent and informed behavior. If people would look at their Bibles, and other religious texts the same way, perhaps there would be less compulsive behavior. Living in a state of perpetual guilt is not the answer. Forgiveness and understanding are the keys to breaking any potentially deadly cycle.
Dear Toaster God,
I have now successfully repented of my sin of toaster forking. It has been six months since I last forked a toaster and got that deliciously sinful tingly jolt for the last time. I was wondering if other people have had the same experience. I want to form a group, and teach others not to sin against their toasters.
I still remember the pleasure of it, and I am sure that others are getting their filthy forks all over the toasters of the world, even as I write this. I wish to stop this carnage in its tracks.
Sincerely
Ex Toaster Freak
A later communication:
Dear Toaster God,
Last week I wrote you that I was planning to start a self-help group for people who had a strange urge to insert forks into their toasters, but now as I think more about it, perhaps a legal or moral outrage against toaster forking should be more appropriate. I think toaster forkers should be punished… severely! I hate those who are into toaster abuse, and I resent them. I can’t stand the idea of it now. It repulses me, and I know how deadly this sin is. We must start a moral outcry against this evil, and put toaster forkers in their place! Jail is the place for them. Heap fires of guilt on them and toss them in jail. I will lead the campaign against them. I despise those who perform such hideous and sinful acts, which I am now too holy to commit, though I still fight that urge every day. We must fight this overwhelming compulsion with vehemence, and hatred.
Sincerely,
Ex- Toaster Freak
Now we see that there is no one as self righteous as an ex- toaster forker. Ex Toaster Freak has stopped sinning, not because he wanted to, or because it made sense to him to stop, but simply out of guilt. The desire is still there, and deep down he doesn’t understand what is wrong with toaster forking, he just thinks it is evil. He doesn’t understand that the makers of the toaster simply didn’t want him to get electrocuted. He thinks it has to do with cruelty to toasters, and some sort of morality issue. Even if it were a morality issue is a lynch mob mentality really the answer?
It is obvious, to everyone except Ex Toaster Freak, that the reason he resents Toaster Forkers, is because he still wants to fork his toaster, and really doesn’t understand why he shouldn’t, other than his strange guilt issues. He has repressed the original reason for putting the fork in the toaster to start with, which was simply to make it let go of his Eggo, which had become entangled. He had an experience he didn’t fully understand, and for some strange reason he found it pleasurable. So what. That is the way life is, isn’t it? We accidentally do something in a moment of less than clear thought. We realize it was a mistake, we experience shame, and the next thing you know we have habits and compulsions. When we un-naturally break those habits without proper consideration for our own desires, roughly denying ourselves what we perceive as pleasure, we begin to resent our loss. We become bitter, and hateful. We seek to spite those who still manage to enjoy life, even non-toaster forkers. They must be doing something wrong, they are having fun, and obviously they could not be having fun and still living righteous lives. Something is wrong with them… right?
Ex-Toaster Freak has closed himself off from enjoyment, and feels that he was forced to do so for the sake of morality, and the fear of toaster hell. There is no reward for his sacrifice, only the absence of punishment, and the easing of his guilt. He still desires and lusts for his toaster. Ex-Toaster Freak has become a hypocrite. He wants to do those things he will not allow, and he hates those who see nothing wrong with toaster forking.
So should he just forget all this and continue in his transgressions, now that he knows better? Well perhaps, except that the warning was in the book for some reason. Perhaps he should look at what drove him to place the fork into the toaster the first time. Possibly by realizing he meant no harm, he would ease his conscience a little bit. It also might be worthwhile to understand why toaster manufacturers prohibit toaster forking. If he understood that 120 electrical current could be pulled from the plugged in toaster, up the metal fork, and directly into his clinched hand, which could contract and make it impossible to let go of the fork, and that the electricity could run up his arm and to his heart, and the rest of his body, he might be more inclined to stop taking chances with his toaster.