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Post by stonerwolf on Mar 12, 2006 19:43:33 GMT -5
it's rare that i should remember dreams, but it seems lately, i am remembering them more often.... but they're always violent... this morning, i recalled dreaming about my dad... he was trying to teach me to drive i think, and being a jerk, so i decided to be a jerk back at him, and drove recklessly, and flipped the car over. he was patronizing me, so i gave him exactly what he was bitching about, even though i was driving just fine. then we got out and i ended up beating the crap out of him, and somehow dropping a bowling ball on his head ;D which was totally random. i woke up then, cuz i felt like i had killed him
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Post by KG on Mar 13, 2006 16:49:05 GMT -5
Well first off are you unusually angry with your dad? I mean do you think it has to do with your feelings about him, or is it more symbolic?
Interpreted symbolically, all characters represent aspects of the self. The father figure generally represents our ability to provide for ourselves, our work ethic, and all the things it takes to basically replace the father figure of our childhood within our self.
It might also be the father's voice within the psyche. For example my false social conscience, used to speak in my mother's voice, until I was finally able to basically disable that aspect. Does your conscience speak in your father's voice? I mean whenever you mess up something do you hear his voice telling you that you are worthless, or otherwise chiding you for doing the wrong thing? When you need to do something and are procrastinating, is it his voice that stirs you to go ahead and do it? Do you think; what would my dad say about this? Or worse yet like mine did, you just hear that nagging voice playing in your head all the time? If so no wonder you dropped a bowling ball on his head! LOL
I know the strangest thing about being free of my mother's voice, is that it has been in my head so long, I still talk to her, even when she is silent. I catch myself explaining the things I do, and what is going on to her. Especially if it is something she has asked about in person, and I wasn't satisifed with what I told her. It doesn't really self initiate anymore, but if she critizises me in real life, then I spend days or weeks, catching myself explaining to her in my head, like rehersed conversation. I am still trying to justify sometimes, even though justification is no longer demanded. I feel really stupid when I catch myself doing it, but at least I don't hear her responses anymore.
Overall parents do a number on us, and the best parents often leave the strongest links. As an adult you are seeking to break this link, and free yourself from the nagging. Not the nagging on the outside, but the nagging on the inside that doesn't stop when he walks away.
I watched it in my own mother, dealing with her mother, and my daughter in dealing with me. It is very interesting in her, because she thinks I am critizising her everytime I turn around, when in fact I admire my daughter, and think everything she does is great, except of course when she projects her own disappointed feelings of herself onto me.
I am now beginning to realize that those tapes of my mom I heard in my head, were not her actual feelings at all, but some aspect of my own psyche, which replaced her as I started to be more independent. In other words just cause your dad isn't there, doesn't mean your mind doesn't re-create him to beat you up emotionally over every little thing you do. The continuation of his voice after he goes away is not him. It is YOU! Your psyche has cloned your view of him, and therefore his character in your mind behaves the way you think it would, and not necessarily the way he would choose to act at all. It is an archetype, and I think most people have them. You imprint your view of your father/mother onto that archetype, and then you hate it.
Driving is another powerful symbol. It means you are taking charge. The car is your life, and your actions. It represents your efforts. The one in the drivers seat in the dream is the one running your life. This is a strong revelation Stoner. You are in fact in control of your life. YOu are driving, but you feel either your actual father, or the values you have imprinted in your mind as your father, are trying to tell you how to live. You were driving just fine when the nagging started. You were doing well at least according to you... but some aspect of your subconscious related to your father, didn't feel you were.
It is interesting that you say that he is "trying" to teach you to drive (live), but apparently you feel you already know how to run your life. Then you wreck your car (life) because of your feelings about him. Now that is very important.
I know that was a long explaination, but here is the interpretation concicely in a nut shell. You are about to wreck your life, out of rebellion against your father. You could function just fine, if you were not so busy deliberately screwing it up just to tick off your dad, and prove him wrong about his values. You think that if you screw up bad enough it will hurt him, and it will, but the reality is it will hurt you as bad or worse, cause you are the car that you just wrecked. You are your father, and you are the driver. You just destroyed you, and in a sense he wasn't really there, cause in a dream we are talking about you. Not your father. Also in your life decisions you are talking about You, and not your dad at all.
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Post by stonerwolf on Mar 13, 2006 18:56:27 GMT -5
it was his car hahaa i dunno... im not consciously deleberately wreaking my life... and if i could kick my sub conscious' ass, i would lol
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Post by KG on Mar 13, 2006 22:38:07 GMT -5
It doesn't matter what car. It was your dream. Therefore the car is your life.
I once read a case study by a Dr. Glassier. The subject was a young girl, who was grossly overweight. Her problem was obviously psychological, and the previous doctor has diagnosed her with an eating disorder, but Glassier determined that the daughter was eating because she knew it was important to her mom that she be beautiful. It was rebellion plain and simple.
The girl, armed with a lot of psychological clap trap, and parent blaiming pity, from the first doctor, took fruther vengence on her mom, by saying that the mother had caused her eating disorder, with various childhood tramuas.
Glassier however, pointed out that it was her life, and while perhaps she could make her mom feel guilty, she was only making herself fat and un healthy. Fruther whatever the cause of her eating disorder, she was the only one who could stop it, now. It was difficult to reach the girl, because she had a long standing practice of controling her mother simply by her eating benges. Dr. Glassier put her in a home away from her mother, and forced her to see that she was responsible for herself, and that her mom's feelings, opinions, and whether or not she agreed with them, was completely irrelivant. The fact was that she was eating herself to death, and she was the one most effected by her behavior.
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