Post by KG on Sept 3, 2009 14:05:43 GMT -5
Last Tuesday Aug 25th, my mother insisted we go to the cemetery... well cemeteries to place flowers on the graves of my father and grandparents. The first one is a Church Cemetery and the energy isn't so bad for a Cemetery. It's the church I grew up in, and while their services may be boring and a real yawner... well apparently someone there has enough awareness to run a clean cemetery.
However that huge perpetual care my grandparents are buried in really gives me the creeps. I mean it is run and managed well on a physical level, but astrally... well it smells worse than a sewer. The energy is terrible, and there are things wandering around... but worst than that... well there is something I can't see, that is almost like the wind... in that you just feel it pass over you, but you can't see it... astral wind that blows evil neg disgusting energy. It feels like blood rot and sewage. It seems to control the other entities... not souls at least I hope there are no souls trapped there. Physically it is beautiful, except they have ducks and geese in a pond and they wander the cemetary and poo everywhere. Astrally though even the ducks and geese feel creepy, like they feed on corpses or something. IDK... that place grosses me out and gives me the creeps. I just hate going out there. My Grandma forced us to go every week, and mom just goes four times a year, but even that is unbearable for me. Anyway we went, and it should be a clean in and out job. I wasn't about to linger.
WE pulled up, I grabbed the flowers, and headed for the grave... only hold up is that my mom is handicapped and moves really slow. She can go faster, if it is an emergency, but although she knows I hate going out there... she feels justified in making me suffer by dragging along at her usual snails pace.
AT first it seemed OK. I secured the flowers in the vase with a wire, so they wouldn't fall out. It took about ten minutes, but while I was leaned over I felt that unseen force, that bloody wind which creeps me out so bad. It happened so fast. I suddenly felt entities all around me but I was looking down trying to concentrate on threading that wire fast. When I looked up, I felt violated, but I didn't see anything all that close to me. The zombie like pain bodies, had gone back to their usual wanderings... the wind became a cool natural breeze. Mom was bitching because I had been pushing the flowers out of the way of the wire too much to suit her. I didn't care I just wanted out of there. Here I was having to bend over, and squat down, and I was being attacked and couldn't protect myself. Couldn't even see... cause I had to look at the wire and the flowers. I tried to shield... but I was too slow. I thought my youngest daughter would cover us, but whatever she did was ineffective too.
As I was walking back to the car, trying to walk slower... and slower so as not to run off and leave my mom. I wanted to run, but I had to wait on pokey. to hobble as slow as is possible even for her... cause she does that when I am in a hurry... she does it any time, but this time I think she was milking it. I heard the car engine dying. I rushed to the car gave it a little gas and it cut off anyway... now normally that thing will idle for half an hour with the air on, no problem. It doesn't ever run hot... at least not normally. Then the car would not start back. I ran to ask some guys who were trimming trees for a jump start. I popped the hood and there was water shooting directly into my alternator from the hose running behind it. There was a lot of water. WE got it started though, and I was able to get the van to a mechanic that was just down the road. I was stranded there for hours though, and was finally able to get a ride from my oldest daughter (Devine on this board. He dried out the alternator and thought it would be OK.I tested OK but on the way back to the house it died twice and the first time I jumped it off, but the traffic was heavy and so I finally called a tow truck.
Since then I have had the most horrible streak of bad luck you can imagine. The next day I took Bear to the dentist, with what we thought was a tooth abcess. The dentist thought it was an abcess too, but said he couldn't do it. He sent us to another dentist, the dentist who was supposed to do it, refused, and said we needed a specialist, because the problem wasn't his tooth. She said he had a tumor in his jaw. The next day which was Friday, we went to the specialist. It turned out to be a cyst which had to be drained... at least the biopsy came back negative, but from Friday till yesterday we were scared out of our wits. This van has broken down a third time... the heater radiator is now shooting water, and since I already paid two mechanic's bills, I am just driving my mom's van... till I can justify spending the money to get it fixed again. Then yesterday my husband called and said that he was loosing his main client... the equivilant of being laid off. The owners do not want to pay him what he is worth... they think a network administrator should make half of what Bear considers minimum pay. He would not consider working for that, and I do not blame him. He's giving them work for about 30 percent less than comparable positions elsewhere as it is. They paid him what he was worth last year, but then cut down his hours, and now they aren't happy cause he isn't there. They hired someone who is fresh out of school... and he will be utterly clueless. It is a huge job essentially it is Network admin. PLUS plant engineer. Anything electronic he deals with. Security Cameras, Refrigeration, Burgler Alarms, Automatic lighting... only one other guy there even knows how to turn the lights on, other than when the come on automatically... and they thing Bear will train the new guy to replace him, but he won't. He will walk out first.
At any rate all this in a week and a half... IDK I am sure something happened to impact my Karma. I know most of this could be a coincidence... or would have happened anyway, but I know that feeling. Something has messed up my mojo so to speak... IDK what to call it but I know it can happen to people.
I told mom how I felt about going out there, and she pulled the damned guilt trip... "If you feel that way I'll just go out there by myself. I can't bend down easily, but I will manage... I could not convince her that this practice was not necessary... it feeds them... people going out there and greaving, and trying to talk to graves of people who are not there... the attachment to the body breaks immediately at death. The body is a shell, which the spirit is liberated from when the heart stops beating. It's been proven by so many near death experiences... why to people keep the body as sacred? Anyway this twisted practice of grave worship and expression of morbid sorrow creates all sorts of astral monsters.
I haven't been able to stop shaking inside, and sometimes visably since the ill wind hit me. I feel so beaten by one circumstance after another, I can't have a moment to relax and deal with all this... it's hitting on so many different levels. I am already weakened by whatever is wrong with Mercy, but I need to figure out how to fight this thing, before it does something to really hurt someone. IDK but I feel very sick about all this... I am upset about Bear loosing his job, and my van being screwed up, but I know it can get worse. I have to figure out how to rebuke this curse like thing, and get my usual good karma back.
I feel very heavy in one way, but in another I am energized to fight... I just can't see what I am fighting. I'd go down to that cemetery alone and fight this thing, or at least astrally travel, but I've been getting almost no alone time lately. Bear is clingy, and when he does leave me alone, I just feel exhausted.
I know I am behind on my messages... sorry folks I didn't even have a chance to log in one day, and frankly I didn't feel like it. I just felt overwhelmed, and did not want to communicate that. I've taken care of a lot of similar things in my day. This level of the astral... really etherial is my specialty but right now I am having trouble regrouping or thinking straight, because of the physical bludgening I feel.
I have not been working on this level for a while, and in addition to the thing I picked up at the cemetery. I realize that bad energies have piled up around me coming from all directions. They are small stuff that I tend to disregard, but there are quite a few. This stuff piles up and it is really exhausting to fight... despite the fact it is weak, because these things travel in packs... working on this level requires more physical energy than straight astral. I really need to work on this area, but working in this area is much more obvious than working in the straight astral. It requires movements, and holy water, and I'd have to be alone. Bear is glued to me 24/7 all the time. I can't get space and time to straighten this out. I am going to have to though... I will do what I can, but does anyone have any advice on this?
However that huge perpetual care my grandparents are buried in really gives me the creeps. I mean it is run and managed well on a physical level, but astrally... well it smells worse than a sewer. The energy is terrible, and there are things wandering around... but worst than that... well there is something I can't see, that is almost like the wind... in that you just feel it pass over you, but you can't see it... astral wind that blows evil neg disgusting energy. It feels like blood rot and sewage. It seems to control the other entities... not souls at least I hope there are no souls trapped there. Physically it is beautiful, except they have ducks and geese in a pond and they wander the cemetary and poo everywhere. Astrally though even the ducks and geese feel creepy, like they feed on corpses or something. IDK... that place grosses me out and gives me the creeps. I just hate going out there. My Grandma forced us to go every week, and mom just goes four times a year, but even that is unbearable for me. Anyway we went, and it should be a clean in and out job. I wasn't about to linger.
WE pulled up, I grabbed the flowers, and headed for the grave... only hold up is that my mom is handicapped and moves really slow. She can go faster, if it is an emergency, but although she knows I hate going out there... she feels justified in making me suffer by dragging along at her usual snails pace.
AT first it seemed OK. I secured the flowers in the vase with a wire, so they wouldn't fall out. It took about ten minutes, but while I was leaned over I felt that unseen force, that bloody wind which creeps me out so bad. It happened so fast. I suddenly felt entities all around me but I was looking down trying to concentrate on threading that wire fast. When I looked up, I felt violated, but I didn't see anything all that close to me. The zombie like pain bodies, had gone back to their usual wanderings... the wind became a cool natural breeze. Mom was bitching because I had been pushing the flowers out of the way of the wire too much to suit her. I didn't care I just wanted out of there. Here I was having to bend over, and squat down, and I was being attacked and couldn't protect myself. Couldn't even see... cause I had to look at the wire and the flowers. I tried to shield... but I was too slow. I thought my youngest daughter would cover us, but whatever she did was ineffective too.
As I was walking back to the car, trying to walk slower... and slower so as not to run off and leave my mom. I wanted to run, but I had to wait on pokey. to hobble as slow as is possible even for her... cause she does that when I am in a hurry... she does it any time, but this time I think she was milking it. I heard the car engine dying. I rushed to the car gave it a little gas and it cut off anyway... now normally that thing will idle for half an hour with the air on, no problem. It doesn't ever run hot... at least not normally. Then the car would not start back. I ran to ask some guys who were trimming trees for a jump start. I popped the hood and there was water shooting directly into my alternator from the hose running behind it. There was a lot of water. WE got it started though, and I was able to get the van to a mechanic that was just down the road. I was stranded there for hours though, and was finally able to get a ride from my oldest daughter (Devine on this board. He dried out the alternator and thought it would be OK.I tested OK but on the way back to the house it died twice and the first time I jumped it off, but the traffic was heavy and so I finally called a tow truck.
Since then I have had the most horrible streak of bad luck you can imagine. The next day I took Bear to the dentist, with what we thought was a tooth abcess. The dentist thought it was an abcess too, but said he couldn't do it. He sent us to another dentist, the dentist who was supposed to do it, refused, and said we needed a specialist, because the problem wasn't his tooth. She said he had a tumor in his jaw. The next day which was Friday, we went to the specialist. It turned out to be a cyst which had to be drained... at least the biopsy came back negative, but from Friday till yesterday we were scared out of our wits. This van has broken down a third time... the heater radiator is now shooting water, and since I already paid two mechanic's bills, I am just driving my mom's van... till I can justify spending the money to get it fixed again. Then yesterday my husband called and said that he was loosing his main client... the equivilant of being laid off. The owners do not want to pay him what he is worth... they think a network administrator should make half of what Bear considers minimum pay. He would not consider working for that, and I do not blame him. He's giving them work for about 30 percent less than comparable positions elsewhere as it is. They paid him what he was worth last year, but then cut down his hours, and now they aren't happy cause he isn't there. They hired someone who is fresh out of school... and he will be utterly clueless. It is a huge job essentially it is Network admin. PLUS plant engineer. Anything electronic he deals with. Security Cameras, Refrigeration, Burgler Alarms, Automatic lighting... only one other guy there even knows how to turn the lights on, other than when the come on automatically... and they thing Bear will train the new guy to replace him, but he won't. He will walk out first.
At any rate all this in a week and a half... IDK I am sure something happened to impact my Karma. I know most of this could be a coincidence... or would have happened anyway, but I know that feeling. Something has messed up my mojo so to speak... IDK what to call it but I know it can happen to people.
I told mom how I felt about going out there, and she pulled the damned guilt trip... "If you feel that way I'll just go out there by myself. I can't bend down easily, but I will manage... I could not convince her that this practice was not necessary... it feeds them... people going out there and greaving, and trying to talk to graves of people who are not there... the attachment to the body breaks immediately at death. The body is a shell, which the spirit is liberated from when the heart stops beating. It's been proven by so many near death experiences... why to people keep the body as sacred? Anyway this twisted practice of grave worship and expression of morbid sorrow creates all sorts of astral monsters.
I haven't been able to stop shaking inside, and sometimes visably since the ill wind hit me. I feel so beaten by one circumstance after another, I can't have a moment to relax and deal with all this... it's hitting on so many different levels. I am already weakened by whatever is wrong with Mercy, but I need to figure out how to fight this thing, before it does something to really hurt someone. IDK but I feel very sick about all this... I am upset about Bear loosing his job, and my van being screwed up, but I know it can get worse. I have to figure out how to rebuke this curse like thing, and get my usual good karma back.
I feel very heavy in one way, but in another I am energized to fight... I just can't see what I am fighting. I'd go down to that cemetery alone and fight this thing, or at least astrally travel, but I've been getting almost no alone time lately. Bear is clingy, and when he does leave me alone, I just feel exhausted.
I know I am behind on my messages... sorry folks I didn't even have a chance to log in one day, and frankly I didn't feel like it. I just felt overwhelmed, and did not want to communicate that. I've taken care of a lot of similar things in my day. This level of the astral... really etherial is my specialty but right now I am having trouble regrouping or thinking straight, because of the physical bludgening I feel.
I have not been working on this level for a while, and in addition to the thing I picked up at the cemetery. I realize that bad energies have piled up around me coming from all directions. They are small stuff that I tend to disregard, but there are quite a few. This stuff piles up and it is really exhausting to fight... despite the fact it is weak, because these things travel in packs... working on this level requires more physical energy than straight astral. I really need to work on this area, but working in this area is much more obvious than working in the straight astral. It requires movements, and holy water, and I'd have to be alone. Bear is glued to me 24/7 all the time. I can't get space and time to straighten this out. I am going to have to though... I will do what I can, but does anyone have any advice on this?