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Post by Shadow of Light on Nov 15, 2006 5:33:27 GMT -5
well technacally stoner is pretty much right, existance is pointless until we either assign some purpose to it or accept someone else giving it purpose. My purpose which I've given myself is simple, may sound insane or utterly crazy to people, but it's simple, I want to bring magick and it's occult knowledge back to the world in the open and by doing so open up a school of mystacism.
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Post by stonerwolf on Nov 15, 2006 11:33:14 GMT -5
Existance is never pointless, even if existance is the only point of existance. The point, is to exist, and experience the world around us. ::hugs:: there is nothing i want to experience; i do not want to experience. i dont want to exist, i dont want to have awareness, i dont want to be conscious, subconscious or superconscious. there is no justice for me. as if i even mattered enough in the first place... if i did matter enough, i wouldnt exist! well technacally stoner is pretty much right, existance is pointless until we either assign some purpose to it or accept someone else giving it purpose. My purpose which I've given myself is simple, may sound insane or utterly crazy to people, but it's simple, I want to bring magick and it's occult knowledge back to the world in the open and by doing so open up a school of mystacism. if i were to assign a purpose to my life, it would be to ceace the existance of my individual self. so far, i am failing miserably, and there appears to be absolutely nothing i can do about it, so it is all still utterly pointless. though technically i've given up trying anyways, it pisses me off that anything requires effort to be earned. i dont want to exist in the first place, so why should i have to EARN my existance a tolerable one?! what did i ever do to EARN a shitty existance?!?!?!?!? NOTHING! so why must i EARN anything to make it better?! it took no effort on my part to come into existance, why does it take so much effort to stop existing? why do i have to put forth effort into something i dont want just to make it tolerable?!?!?
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Post by Kata Samoes on Nov 15, 2006 19:10:58 GMT -5
No one has a cat for a spirit guide?
The evolution, and de-evolution of the feline race is fascinating. Domestic to wild, and wild to domestic.
One of my cats was formerly a familiar. I loved her. She died, rather painfully too and came back as a spirit guide.
She used to chase my grandmother's old dog. That is a bad-ass cat.
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Post by KG on Nov 16, 2006 9:27:49 GMT -5
Very cool about your cat Kata. I love cats. I have had a few cat 'familiars.' In my lifetime. I was probably closest to Miss Tilly, she passed away several years ago, of old age, but she saved my daughter's life. My daughter, who was about six at the time had a cold. I had checked on her a couple of hours before, and she was OK, so I went back to bed. Very early in the morning, I woke up and there was this awful screaming sound, like a woman being killed. I rushed into her room, and the cat was screaming like that, and as soon as I came in she started jumping up and down on my daughter's chest. My daughter had stopped breathing, because of croop. She was just bearly conscious, but couldn't get her breath at all, because croup had set in. We got her breathing, and took her to the hospital.
Tilly wasn't a spirit guide, she was a guide to life. She let me know about five or ten minutes before someone just dropped by. I don't know how she knew, but she was usually able to communicate who was coming by the way she walked to the door. She even knew when a neighbor was coming over, before he even left his house. She had different body language for each person. I was never suprised by company that way. No one could ever just drop by unannounced.
Cats are cool, and yes some cats can chase, and attack a dog and win. My mother's cat finally broke off the tip of his fang in a malimute's backbone.
The neighbor had thought it was funny when his dog chased and even killed some of our kittens, but he didn't think it was funny at all when he had to chase our tom off, and carry his dog in the house. The dog stopped picking on our kittens though.
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Post by stonerwolf on Dec 29, 2006 3:18:28 GMT -5
Stoner, random bits of inspiration sometimes strike me. so here's a poem, yah, I'm weird but lol, everybody knows that already. Dark Night
Into the mists of darkness one can run into the gates of death into the darkest night and yet there will always be some small light,
the spirit to fight with absolutely all your might, that my friend, is the truest sight, that me friend, is worth the hardest bite
for when you lose that fight, you will be stuck in the eternally dark night, with no light, with no fight, eternally trapped within fright Work out the symbolism and such and you'll eventually catch the message that before anyone else can help you, you have to help yourself. It's one of the first lessons we all have to learn. We can plead, ask, beg or even pray to others and external sources but the first steps towards anyting have to start within yourself so im a lost cause after all... oh well, maybe i will die in some random violence... i can only hope i guess... honnestly, im glad everyone tried to help me, but there's nothing left to help, maybe there never was, i am unwilling to put forth the required effort to overcome myself, so i guess in some divine twisted sick sense i deserve to suffer because i cant look to myself for help, i MUST deserve it, it's the way things work, so what am i supposed to think?
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Post by dania on Dec 29, 2006 12:39:06 GMT -5
You deserve it if you are unwilling to change the situation; but then, you also don't have the right to complain about it. It is in your power to change it.
When you decide that you do indeed want to help yourself, then there are people who will always be willing and ready to help you. But until you decide that you are ready to help yourself, we are incapable of helping you.
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Post by stonerwolf on Dec 30, 2006 0:42:31 GMT -5
what makes everyone so certain that i have any control over the situation?
i couldnt will people into my life, skilled people who could teach me, i wasnt able to will my hearing into perfect condition, that is a situation that is out of my hands, yet everyone seems so insistent that it is my own doing?
i honnestly dont understand how it is my fault for having a life i do not appreciate, and am not thankful for.
i am thankful for a few small things, every toke off of a bong or pipe, every bite of food, or so, the occasional breath of fresh crisp air... i am thankful for these few things that are not in abundance, for which i am bitter.
i am not able to control the situation of the world that depresses me, i cannot controll the emotions of people all over the world, only experience them collectively.
the world is pretty depressed, let me tell you, combine every person on earth, feel all the emotions as one, and your significance takes a tumble down a very steep hill, your attempts to improve the situation are almost all futile, for every time we do something to help, twice as much is done to set us back a step.
these things are beyond our control, we are simply told to ignore the bad and appreciate the good, yet if we continue to ignore the bad, it will just run rampant and get away with anything and everything.
i never thought i was the problem, and in fact i still dont. i refuse to accept that we should have to ignore the problems in the world and let them be in order to be happy, i cannot tolerate ignorance. i refuse to accept it has any useful purpose in this world other than blocking out the bad, which isnt very useful, especially if i ever want an end to all suffering.
so when my choices are either suffer, or accept that everyone else will suffer, i have no choice at all, no control over my situation.
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Post by dania on Dec 30, 2006 1:16:28 GMT -5
You flat out said you refuse to try. EVERYONE has some degree of control over their life. YOU DO have control. But you told us you refuse to try. So suck it up, and quit complaining, or decide you want to help yourself.
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Post by stonerwolf on Dec 30, 2006 1:22:24 GMT -5
i cant controll the aspects of my life that matter to me, i can live with the inconsistancies, but i cant tolerate suffering having any part of reality.
so tell me, then, how do i end all suffering in myself, as well as all others?
DO i have controll over that? it is all that matters. everything else is otherwise perfect.
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Post by dania on Dec 30, 2006 1:24:18 GMT -5
You have control over your reaction. You have control over your view of the world. Work on the inside, work on yourself. You can't help anyone in your current state.
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Post by stonerwolf on Dec 30, 2006 1:43:51 GMT -5
i do not have controll over my perceptions of the world: what i see, what i percieve, is what i percieve, what passes my line of sight is what i see, i do not choose what i percieve, only what i choose to percieve.
i can look at an apple, but i will never percieve an orange.
i am a seeker of truth, i seek to know the state of the world, and i know, thus far, that it is a place where many more suffer than prosper.
the balance is not 50/50, we are not silver, 50% light and dark, but a dark shade of gray.
and it continues to get darker so long as people ignore the problems and focus on improving their personal lives.
your self is not what is important now a days, maybe 1000 years ago, but that time has long since passed, now it is time to look past your and other people's differences, and strive to unite and work together for a common goal.
we must stop judging others for the way we perceive them, and rather learn to see the world from their perspective, and gain an understanding of the way they think, and how they came to their beliefs and thoughts.
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Post by Kata Samoes on Dec 30, 2006 1:46:29 GMT -5
Stop bitching on the wrong board.
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Post by dania on Dec 30, 2006 1:46:34 GMT -5
Yes but the fact of the matter is, in your current state of mind, you cannot help anyone. Until you love yourself, you have no love to give. You cannot improve anyone's life, while you insist on viewing yours as pointless. It's really that simple; if you think you can't, you won't. And while you refuse to try, we cannot help you.
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Post by stonerwolf on Dec 30, 2006 2:08:41 GMT -5
i used to think i could, but never have i ever found anything that could even manage to put a dent in the problem. if you can offer some advice on how to end suffering... maybe i will think i can again...
as for loving myself, i love all aspects of myself, i just happen to doubly hate my body.
i am proud of my distinct and individual ideas and thoughts, but i am disappointed that my mind is not realistically applicable. try as i might when i was younger, there was nothing i could do to end suffering even while i was not depressed.
why do you think i dont love myself? because i hate my body? doesnt mean i dont love it, i am just painfully disappointed in it, that i have no choice what my body is, how it looks.
that's the only hate i have toward myself, and it is not without love. i do love the human body, i am just dissatisfied with my own, and the fact of the matter that i am stuck with it, no choice. how do i control THAT situation?
i've tried willing my body to change, but i dont know what i am doing, i fail every time.
what is it you expect me to do?
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Post by Kata Samoes on Dec 30, 2006 2:12:22 GMT -5
Stop bitching on the wrong thread, mate. Move it elsewhere.
Like..PM.
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