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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 8, 2006 21:07:53 GMT -5
i think i know a great deal of what's holding me back... is that i need someone to push me, someone to do it with me, to keep me inspired to keep at it and not get lazy again... because alone, there's no point... i think that desperate need was what pushed monique away the most...
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Post by KG on Jan 8, 2006 22:00:09 GMT -5
Well then Monique isn't like me. I just wanted to have a life. I mean you know a little house, a couple of kids, and not all that yuppie stuff either. I don't care what the house looked like, and I am not a picky housekeeper myself. I would hardly lay into anyone else about it. I am not materialistic at all, and could care less about things, but I want a roof over my head, and the utilities paid. I'd also like to have things for the children, just the way they need and want them.
On the other hand if a missionary preacher had asked me, I would have followed him to darkest africa... well if I had been in love with him... or even close. I was the kind of person who wanted to join the peace corps or be a missionary. I didn't though... I also felt a need to live near my family, because I was an only child.
That is an idea. Stoner! You are very bright. Oral Roberts University used to offer a full medical scholarship to anyone who would agree to work in the mission field and equivilant length of time. In other words you go to college for eight years, and come out a medical doctor, this is completely free. In return you go to third world countries for another eight years, and practice medicine, treating the poorest people in the world. At the end of eight years you are free to be a doctor if you want, but I am sure they wouldnt' mind if you stayed on. I am not sure if they still have that program or not, it was years ago that I heard about it.
I also have a friend who is a nurse practitioner on an indian reservation. She got some kind of scholarship to be able to get her education for this, but I don't know the details.
There are also various volunteers and employees for amnisty international, and uniceff, who are sent to work in foreign countries. I think they are given a small amount of whatever currancy the country uses, but the pay for those kinds of jobs isn't the point. i mean it covers your expenses, but not much else.
As far as that goes, I think there is still a peace corps, but you don't hear much about it anymore
Something like that would be have to be a calling, and something really heart felt, but it almost sounds like that is what you are saying. You see the mess that society makes, and you want to do something about it. You feel powerless in the face of this huge American Government Machine, but what if you could leave the country and live your life in a way that really helped people, like giving food and medical care to starving children. Would that be something you could do?
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 8, 2006 22:14:50 GMT -5
actually, i think the best way to make the world a better place isnt to join a cause, but to set an example... and i cant set an example without anyone else... no one would would know, i'd be out in the wilderness tending to a garden...
i figure the best thing to do is gather a lot of people together and start a sort of commune that closely matches native american villages and such, and set an example this way.
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Post by KG on Jan 8, 2006 23:30:03 GMT -5
That sounds nice. Good plan.
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 9, 2006 1:50:55 GMT -5
catch is gathering people... and where the hell do we go then? hey maybe the natives will allow us some of their reservation land, given our honnorable approach... maybe? at least then the government cant touch us, we wont have to worry about taxes or money what so ever
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 13, 2006 4:39:32 GMT -5
feelin rather depressed tonight... and i was wondering if you i should keep tabs here or not, or if that would help at all in any way... aand i felt like posting so why the hell not? lol edit: i used to have an underbite, i got braces, and my jaw was worked on around the time i was 13 or 14... oh, holy shit! i was just thinking, i was almost meditating... long story, doesnt matter here but damn... i suddenly realized the tension that put on my jaw muscles, and i tried to relax my jaw. it dropped, and i could feel my muscles in my neck, they were so tense, and "relaxed" my mouth just opened, i couldnt actually relax it backand i suddenly thought maybe having my jaw pulled foreward was part of why my thyroid became underactive after a while. all the muscles in my neck are so tense from being forcably pulled foreward to compensate for my overbite. i do believe it took untill i was juuuust 16 before they finally 'wired' my jaw shut using rubber bands i had to wrap around the brackets in my teeth. and to think i never wanted this done in the first place i dunno, maybe it did, maybe it didnt... but i still dont like it
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 13, 2006 16:01:46 GMT -5
i cant do this anymore i cant talk to my parents at all, they're both so passionate about me getting a job, they wont listen to the voice of reason. i cant tell them about thaxes "they already know that", they just keep putting it out of their minds. i cant do this anymore, i dotn want to just abandon them, and even if i did, i have no place to go, but i cant stay here any longer either im trapped
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Post by ~Sephity~ on Jan 13, 2006 23:06:58 GMT -5
*nods* I'm sorry. Have you tried any alternatives in trying to help your parents yet?
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 13, 2006 23:16:41 GMT -5
alternatives? what? like hosework and such? i'd procrastinate like hell for chorse at mom's, but i'd always try to do them... and the only thing my dad avtually expects of me is to try and find a job... which i usually just go out and walk around fo an hour i cant reason with them, they think they already know it all... but it sure isnt apparent, i'd like to think that if they really knew why i refuse to associatemyself with currency, they would actually refuse to use it as well... but apparently survival, and material things is more important than trying to make a positive impact in the world i wish i had friends offline, people who i could talk to and maybe get help from
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Post by ~Sephity~ on Jan 13, 2006 23:23:46 GMT -5
Well...I'll say to you what one once said to me, "Make a covent." Except, the way I'm going to put it is, "While your wandering around aimlessly, why don't you talk to some people about your beleifs?"
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 13, 2006 23:36:36 GMT -5
ah... enters my anti-social behavior... me? talk to a complete strange? for no apparent reason at all? umm.... well.. actually... if i just up and left, wandering around like that... i probably would lol ;D it's just so hard to do this alone ... but i probably have to do this, huh?
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Post by ~Sephity~ on Jan 13, 2006 23:39:47 GMT -5
Well, not really. You can always go onto one of those things on the net, where you can search for people in your area who beleive in what you beleive in.
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 13, 2006 23:52:40 GMT -5
umm...
got links?
no, im not advertising golf, shheeeeeesh...
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Post by ~Sephity~ on Jan 13, 2006 23:56:05 GMT -5
AHAHA, no i'm sorry I don't have links, and honestly I'm to lazy to search for one right now...I'm sorry.
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Post by stonerwolf on Jan 14, 2006 0:33:15 GMT -5
haha dont be sorry, no reason to apolagize, it's not the end of the world lol
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