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Post by a'Lan Mandragoran on Apr 6, 2011 22:39:28 GMT -5
First, the news... I'm employed! I work for Boeing through TekSystems as a data analyst. At least that's where I will be going soon. I was technical help desk and support. Not exactly fun but it's work... full time work. I have money now. Working on student loan paying, but who isn't now-a-days?
I has been feeling a pull to return here... Looking around at the board, I don't see anything that would warrant my attention, other than the call to help with the recent disasters. I am wondering what brought me back.
During the recent weeks, I've been unable to bring myself inward enough to meditate. It is not natural. I do feel an unwanted energy in the world. It might just be my own shadows seeping. Don't know if it's related to the pull to return or not either.
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Post by KG on Apr 8, 2011 1:09:03 GMT -5
Welcome back!!!
I don't know why you felt the pull, other than the fact I missed you, but I did miss you, and I am so glad you have returned. I am sure the rest missed you as well. The fact you have returned victorious with an amazing job is even better. I am so happy for you.
How is Ash? I miss her too!
As for unwanted energy and inability to meditate I have to concur. I have lately only been able to meditate right before going to sleep, and then I just doze off and can't remember it when I wake up. It's very unsatisfactory, but I have very little alone time and what little time I have I usually work.
It is great to see you back though, and perhaps you will bring some normalcy to my screwed up psyche. I have to admit I'm not like myself lately, and fighting unexplained depression and panic. but I am truly happy to hear from you. Your energy, has always felt like a warm security blanket and I find comfort in your words. It's great to have you back. Your post has restored my inner smile at least for the moment.
Kim
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Post by Ashyfox on Apr 8, 2011 15:21:39 GMT -5
I'm ok. I can't log into the site from Lan's work so I have to post this way. I might change it when he gets home. I've been pouncing around your place cause I want a vacation from the forest. heh... very unfoxish of me, probably but meh! Anyone can bite me if they want. I like being bitten some times. hehe
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Post by Kata Samoes on Apr 9, 2011 17:07:10 GMT -5
It's my fault, I called you back here. I miss your presence, and I know Kim has, too. The board seems to be so sluggish lately.
I'm glad to hear about your employment, though!
If you're having trouble meditating, your may need to channel some balance into yourself. Lighting a black and white candle with a minor chant can help, or a balancing ritual.
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Post by KG on Apr 11, 2011 12:55:43 GMT -5
Hi Ash, It's good to hear from you on the forum. I've sensed you a few times over the time you've been away, and was wondering how things were going. My visionary abilities have been still there, but hard to interpret. I am glad you are visiting me.
Thanks for the suggestion. Could you possibly tell us more about the balancing ritual. I would be interested. Sounds like something I can use... balance I mean. I've never been good at rituals, but I have not been normal lately.
Kim
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Post by a'Lan Mandragoran on Apr 11, 2011 13:48:22 GMT -5
I'll keep that in mind myself. I'm sitting here at work and there's NOTHING going on. Nothing to analyze. The worst part about my job is that work doesn't come in on a schedule or in any kind of pattern. I sit here for HOURS with nothing to do.
Ash: he can talk to me but he's got the bad habit of saying things audibly. His coworkers would think he's even more insane. Also, Kim, I sent the kids to you for a little bit. They said they wanted to play with one of your angels.
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Post by Xavrael on Apr 23, 2011 3:57:17 GMT -5
.... I do feel an unwanted energy in the world. It might just be my own shadows seeping. Don't know if it's related to the pull to return or not either. Hehehe. There is a great deal of darkness in this world that crawls along the pores of this world and echoes along the vibrational strings into eternity. Small world. Long reach though x]. I'm derailing slightly. Point being, if you are feeling unwanted energy in the world, it should be rather normal by now. Amidst the personal heavens being lived in by some, those who are aware, recognize that Hell has come to a great many others. No amount of positive thinking without positive action will change that unfortunately. Maybe, it's a strong undercurrent of negative energy being felt from recent current events that makes it stand out all the more. Like noticing a large marshmallow among all of the little ones!
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Post by KG on Apr 26, 2011 1:35:10 GMT -5
Hi Xav, Ash and Lan,
Wow! yes I see your point, but I love how you said that. The thing is though it hits on a lot of levels, and I think there are some people who are in heaven on one level that still have hell to deal with on an emotional, economic or social level. Plus, people who are sensitive to the pain of others, are feeling the pain vicariously. A lot of good people are suffering, and that creates negative energy as well. I sense a little bit of wicked glee from somewhere every now and then, as if some entity were gloating at the troubles people have.
I sensed something really upsetting a few days before and for a couple of weeks after Japan's earthquake. I know I drove people here up the wall, and my family as well. I was just reduced to some sort of agoraphobic hysteria, and couldn't get hold of myself at all, starting on the 9th. I had trouble concentrating on my work, and I was afraid to leave the house. I had panic attacks just sitting in my chair, but of course I don't show these things outwardly, but inside I was a basket case. It didn't feel like negative energy though it just felt like being on a roller coaster that was plunging down a steep slope, even when I was sitting still. It was like a malfunction of astral gravity or something.
Anyway that seems better now... finally, but something still isn't quite back to normal. Maybe that's what you are feeling Lan?
Hi Ash, I always enjoy when you visit Ash, and welcome anyone else who wants to come see me as well.
I dreamed of a fox last night but she was older looking, and more like an earthly fox, but not exactly. Her energy was not like you, but I still half way wondered if it was someone you know. She was larger than an earth fox almost the height of a coyote but much heavier. She had grey mixed into her red fur, and it gave her a dull orange color. Her hair was course with age. Her back was broad, and she seemed very tired. She held her tail straight and almost straight out in line with her spine, but slightly down. Her tail was tipped in white. She was very friendly, and came and stood beside me for a long time. She didn't speak, but seemed to be trying to tell me something. She kept looking at me, and then looking down when I looked at her. I talked to her, but she didn't say anything back.
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Post by Ashira Bloodmoon on Apr 26, 2011 19:00:27 GMT -5
She sounds familiar.... At first, I thought it could be my mum, but she'd make herself more known what she was trying to communicate. I'll have to check around and see who it might have been. Might be the Wisdom from a village not far from your place.
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Post by KG on Apr 27, 2011 2:22:45 GMT -5
Thanks Ash. See if you can find out. I think she seemed to represent Wisdom, but most foxes do in one way or another. I should tell you about the rest of the dream, after thinking about it. It could be important.
In the dream I was outside on my mother's front lawn, and there were some dogs there which I'd never seen before, but they were nice dogs. I can't remember even looking at them really. They were just there, and I sensed them. Their energy wasn't familiar, but kind of average for dogs. I think there were two of them somewhere in the yard.
The fox came out of the wheat field, and stood beside me. I stooped down and held out my hand, she put her paw into my hand and then her head down on top of her paw, as if it were a greeting. Her tail raised a bit and wagged. I was happy to see her. I put my hand on her head and felt her fur. It was courser than most foxes. It felt like a head full of human grey hair.
The two dogs came over too, but I just kept looking at the fox, and never really saw them in the dream. It was like i already knew what they looked like, though in waking, I don't know.
In the dream we were interrupted by someone dressed like a policeman... but he wasn't exactly. He was driving a police car. He was wearing a navy blue, and royal blue, kind of dressy uniform. The pant legs had a very formal looking darker stripe down the outside of the leg, which was about two inches wide. This looked really nice, and caused him to look taller. He was thin, and between six foot, and six foot two. He had short dark hair, and he wasn't bad looking. He was wearing a white hat like a dress navy uniform. He had a blue coat with brass buttons like a navy officer. Overall, the uniform was mostly US Navy.
He cautioned me against associating with her... or any foxes. "It's not safe for people to get too close to foxes, they are wild and they can bite you! They carry rabies!" He called her a "crazy mad old fox, and said she wasn't normal!" He seemed to be trying to chase her or catch her or something. Of course he couldn't catch her, and I wouldn't let him try really. I heard out what he had to say, and distracted him by asking questions, and diverting attention from the fox. I didn't trust him, and I caught him in about three different lies. He kept contradicting himself. I thought he was terribly stupid, but I talked to him a lot while the fox hid.
I distracted him and then told him it didn't sound like there was anything to worry about after all, because his story made no sense. He actually accused her of being rabid. She obviously wasn't. Maybe that's why she was there, to avoid him... and knew I'd help. She hid until he went away. Then she came back, but she still didn't say anything except thank you, and that wasn't exactly audible, more of a look of gratitude for getting rid of that guy. I don't know who the guy was but he had a sort of bad cop like energy... like all excitable, and over reacting to everything while trying to act authoritarian, and trying to act cool, though he was terribly uncool. You know how I feel about people who do that. Any idea who HE might have been? Anyway he left, but this guy might be bad news. At first I just thought it was a silly dream, except for the fox... but she seemed real, and come to think of it he might be too. I remember him more clearly today, and it seems like he might be a problem.
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Post by Ashira Bloodmoon on Apr 27, 2011 17:49:46 GMT -5
Still not clue on the vixen, but the man.... he sounds like someone from the group Lan calls the New Order Army. They're tied to the Council and seek to bring about a very specific "2012" type event. They distrust any non-human being except the "near humans" that is to say anyone that doesn't look like they do. "Near humans" to them are non-white people, or non-human species that do not help them. They tend to see any being with the same general features as a human as near human. The Grays are "near human" while foxes, even those that walk on hind legs like I do, are "non-human".
Do you remember any patches on his uniform?
If there were dogs, I just thought of this, If there were dogs around, the fox may have been from a place Lan knows of. If you see her again, try to project some of Lan's energy to her. IF she recognizes you as Lan's friend, she might let you help her more. If she showed up, she knows you are a friend though. Her people were cursed not long ago and are unable to speak or shift from a truefox form. Lan's had them quarantined until he can figure out how to help them all... If she got out, she's in real trouble, or the entirety of her people are in trouble. The curse came from the NOA. Lan's safe zone for them might be compromised...
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Post by KG on Apr 28, 2011 3:38:52 GMT -5
Figures... His energy was very weird. He was on one hand kind of a normal red-neck cop, especially as far as like IQ. He was even attempting to personable in a vaguely condescending way, like those types do, but he had that prissy, everything's dirty attitude. He didn't want to touch the fox with his hands I could tell, like some kind of rich spoiled brat prude. That was the main reason he didn't catch her. I remember the hat was white, but had a dark bill on it. A bird similar to the bird in the lower right hand corner was in the center of the hat, in gold, and in the center of a laurel wreath The background of the emblem was black. I noticed something like rank stripes on the sleeve and a shield shaped patch embroidered in gold... the artwork wasn't very good, but there were about four or five objects embroidered inside the shield... I couldn't tell what they were. You mean THE Council??? I hate those guys! Well, they will have to join the club on that one... Many groups have their eye on 2012 for planned events and strategies. It is likely to be a free for all. Hmmm.... that's weird. I mean choosing a Gray over a FOX??? That makes no sense. That all sounds likely. I don't think she was able to speak or she would have. She's in trouble but I didn't sense any others. She seemed to be alone, and lonely. Lan should send someone to check on them. Why were they quarantined? Is this contagious? 2012 is supposed to be a time of coming together for common people, to usurp the power of the elite, at least that's the best translation the modern day Mayans have, and it matches with my interpretation of the pictograph even before I read what the Mayans had to say. The Council would really, really not like this, since they are elitists, so they will of course make their move to try to control a populist uprising. This prediction included a sort of international populist movement, which will end oppression, and the nasty spirit which is all over the council, but not limited to them. It is my guess that this spirit of greed will continue to accelerate in fewer and fewer people, and wealth will continue to increase for a handful of people, until suddenly they will either be peacefully defeated or end up in a French Revolution style situation if they don't back down. In 2012 there will be a massive outpouring of abundance upon the earth. A blessing from a goddess who represents resistance against oppression. She will pour out fertility and abundance to all the world and this will thwart those who have lorded it over us for so long. At least that's what the Mayan's think... and this could mean a fall of the veil, but there is a definite message of a coming utopia after the strife. Of course were it not for the efforts of the terminally greedy, there would not be a shortage of anything... and not so much hording, as preventing the production of things. If we had continued our exploration of green energy after Carter started it when I was young, instead of it being repressed by some sort of conspiracy, we would have decreased our oil dependency by about 3/4's. We'd have about 100 times the food supply, especially wheat if the government did not pay farmers not to grow so much of it. If small farmers were encouraged instead of starved out and discriminated against then we'd have enough grain to feed the world and supply a LOT of grain alcohol to run in cars.
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Post by Ashira Bloodmoon on Apr 28, 2011 19:13:52 GMT -5
It's not so much contagious as it is very disturbing to others around. It is more for their own protection than anyone else's that Lan quarantined them. Also, that man, tell your people about him. Next time you or anyone else see him, have him killed on sight. Lan said "If he wears the 'crow' he's worthless as a human." I don't much like that decree, but knowing the NOA and their ties to a certain group that shall not be named, I am inclined to agree.
If you see the fox again, Lan would like to speak with her. He's been trying to find an anti-curse for her people. Also, if she's free, there must be others who got out which means that the NOA must have gotten in somehow.
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Post by KG on Apr 29, 2011 5:19:56 GMT -5
Thank you for the information and the warning Ash. I have the fox with me in the castle. Some strange things happened since I called her back. First of all, she's talking now, or at least I can hear her. She says I lifted the curse, but it wasn't exactly deliberate on my part, so I am not sure how. You could try bringing the other foxes, or I could go there. Maybe I could help them also. I am not sure what I did, other than talk to her, and wish she could speak. She told me that she wants to speak to you first. Then Lan. She seemed kind of fearful of speaking with Lan alone without first discussing things with you. She has no problem with talking to Lan once she's been able to talk to you in private. She's also asked to remain in my castle for a while. I tend to agree because of what happened next. I'd like to be around her more. When she got to the castle, I asked her to sit down on my sofa, because communication would be easier that way. My white sofa is somehow connected to my consciousness. I automatically channel whoever sits on my sofa. When she sat down, her disposition and energy changed and so did mine.
Both of us were exhausted before she sat down, but as soon as she got on the sofa she was energized, and got such a power rush or energy serge that she started talking kind of strangely. She said, "I am not what I seem. I am much more. I have power now, so I can truly be myself, I am myself alone, because now I am not alone anymore." I was startled by her speech and felt challenged at first until I realized that I was having a power rush too. It's like together with her we are exponentially more powerful, energetic and strong. IDK what this is, but it was so wild and uncontrolled at first that Gary had to hold her hands... well paws to calm her, and absorb some of the energy before we just fried our circuits. He's sort of acting as a buffer right now in order for things to settle down a little. Anyway there's some powerful magic going on between me and this fox, and I feel she should stay with me for the time being. since we are stronger together. I've been up all night, working but suddenly I feel very energized, and crystal clear in my mind... and LOL that doesn't happen often. I am interested in what this is. I feel giddy with energy and my heart is about to spin out of my chest. We seem to be healing each other at a rate that is almost painful... but more like overwhelmingly ecstatic. Anyway the fox seems fine now and is talking quite a lot. She says, "I am of the wind and of the sea, and of the seas that are behind them. I am foreign born, but early raised before the dawn of my arising. I came from before, but came from early now, and later I will find the dawn again. I am not among my companions, nor am I a part of them or like them anymore... nor was I ever truly like the others. No others are like me. I am one of a kind, and they are all of their kind. No more of them like themselves, but no more of me that are like me. We are all alone, but I have found myself in your white sofa, as if I'd left some spare change in the cushions... but instead of change I found my soul. I am far different than I thought... and far more than fox or human or both... I have found me, and you have found you. We are kindred." I was once of Lan's and Ash's village and a compatriot of Ash. I found myself alone and hushed among a crowd of other vixens. We were all hushed. I could not speak, and truly had nothing to say. I knew nothing but that which should not be said aloud anyway. I was afraid, and one should not say that aloud. You would never say that aloud would you? Or at least you would choose not to. Well since it was not mine to choose I didn't say it, but I felt it. It overwhelmed me, the fear and then I became tired, so tired. I crawled under the furniture (not sure of the word furniture... there doesn't seem to be a word in my vocabulary for what she means,) I hid myself and then I found a hole. I found a hole in the floor, and then a hole in the ground, and I dug myself out the rest of the way. I came to you out of instinct. I didn't know you were a friend of Ash, and I didn't know of you at all, but you drew me because you are like me. like minded, not that you are a fox. I want to go home now and see my kin, but they are dead... and there's nothing left for me but to be here."
You may understand the circumstances she's talking about more than me, but she's wanting to stay here, at least for now. I think we may need to work together.
She says he started following her soon after she escaped. She thinks he was waiting and watching for her so he knew she was coming, even though she left on an impulse.
I hope to see you and Lan soon, and let her talk to you both.
Sure... do they stay dead, or are they like everything else and just keep coming back.
I'm so tired of waring with them, but sure... we can't let them win, so we have to fight back with whatever means we have.
Anyway I look forward to meeting with you both, come by as soon as you can.
Kim
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Post by Ashira Bloodmoon on May 1, 2011 16:13:43 GMT -5
I talked to the fox woman... She trusts me but she will not yet talk to Lan. I feel distrust and possibly fear when the conversation drifts towards him. She trusts you too. Perhaps she said why she doesn't trust Lan to you? I don't know. She's not ready to talk to him yet... I really can't get a whole lot out of her except that she wants her village taken care of before she herself is. THis is admirable and I will see what I can do.
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