Post by KG on Aug 31, 2010 9:33:30 GMT -5
Very auspicious dreams last night! Strange really. I had deliberately gone to bed early, and slept about 12 hours... something I rarely do.
Heart Dream
In my dream I used a scalpel to open my own chest. Though I cut straight over my heart, I had to reach in from under my ribs and just pull it out because my ribs and sternum were in the way. I got up and looked down. At first it looked like the wound was going to heal on its own, but then it started gaping and trying to heal crooked… all this over a matter of minutes. I took the time to whip stitch it shut with a needle and thread. I then repaired my heart. I worked on it at the kitchen table at mom’s house.
My mom came in while I was doing this, and she did not understand. I showed her that I had no pulse and yet I lived. She was frightened, but I insisted that I was OK and that this needed to be done. She was not convinced except that I seemed to be fine.
I remember holding my heart, which was very large, and fleshy there was white and pale yellow stuff on it. I examined it, I burned it to cauterize, and it more quivered than beat in my hand. I worked on it for hours with scalpel and knife, and bottles of chemicals… almost as if my work here were art.
I reopened my chest, and with some difficulty replaced my heart. (None of this seemed to hurt) It felt odd… but it was not especially painful, maybe a little.
I worked hard to re-stitch my heart and my chest, so that it closed properly and would heal. Then I got dressed and went to school in a red muscle car. I was wearing a blue shirt, and flair jeans which I owned when I was in sixth grade... but apparently this was high school... different though. I remember feeling tired, and hoped my work on my chest would help, once I got over staying up all night working on it.
I also dreamed that my grandfather visited me at mom’s house and that he had a little dog (puppy) that he at first left in the truck but then when he stayed longer he brought the dog in… it was a small puppy. He said, “let me show you my new dog.” I became confused because I thought for a while he was my uncle Jake (his brother) because he was so affectionate with the dog, and his whole persona changed when he fed the puppy. He did not at all seem like himself, with that puppy, and when he left I had to ask my mother, was that my grandfather Mitch or was that Jake? She showed that was obviously a stupid question, and that of course that was my grandfather… just in a different mood.
I’d never thought of it before, but even though my grandfather had a dog he loved as a boy, and had hunted with dogs, and had cats around, I’d never seen him stroke an animal or show true affection for one before… When he touched an animal he was always a bit rough… not painfully so, just strong, and sort of disinterested. I always sensed he kind of wanted to treat them differently, but his attention to them was always very deliberately detached. As if he did not want to show that emotion He used to call me a “Cat Notcher” because I always had a cat in my arms. I am not sure if he thought that was good or bad, but it always made him laugh. On rare occasions he’d pat my cat on the head, but it was obvious he did not want to really interact with it. In my dream though my grandfather tenderly cared for the puppy, giving it milk and soft food and stroking it, cuddling it and talking to it and playing with it… that was all very out of character.
I think he said in the dream that “this dog will likely outlive me!” He was very old though he did not seem old at all. He seemed to be expressing that he could get attached to this dog, because he would not live to see it die. I remember that he was very fond of his childhood dog, which had of course died, and I think after that he did not want the closeness of another animal because he did not want to feel the pain of loss. He kept a certain distance because of that, but I never thought of it that way.
Heart Dream
In my dream I used a scalpel to open my own chest. Though I cut straight over my heart, I had to reach in from under my ribs and just pull it out because my ribs and sternum were in the way. I got up and looked down. At first it looked like the wound was going to heal on its own, but then it started gaping and trying to heal crooked… all this over a matter of minutes. I took the time to whip stitch it shut with a needle and thread. I then repaired my heart. I worked on it at the kitchen table at mom’s house.
My mom came in while I was doing this, and she did not understand. I showed her that I had no pulse and yet I lived. She was frightened, but I insisted that I was OK and that this needed to be done. She was not convinced except that I seemed to be fine.
I remember holding my heart, which was very large, and fleshy there was white and pale yellow stuff on it. I examined it, I burned it to cauterize, and it more quivered than beat in my hand. I worked on it for hours with scalpel and knife, and bottles of chemicals… almost as if my work here were art.
I reopened my chest, and with some difficulty replaced my heart. (None of this seemed to hurt) It felt odd… but it was not especially painful, maybe a little.
I worked hard to re-stitch my heart and my chest, so that it closed properly and would heal. Then I got dressed and went to school in a red muscle car. I was wearing a blue shirt, and flair jeans which I owned when I was in sixth grade... but apparently this was high school... different though. I remember feeling tired, and hoped my work on my chest would help, once I got over staying up all night working on it.
I also dreamed that my grandfather visited me at mom’s house and that he had a little dog (puppy) that he at first left in the truck but then when he stayed longer he brought the dog in… it was a small puppy. He said, “let me show you my new dog.” I became confused because I thought for a while he was my uncle Jake (his brother) because he was so affectionate with the dog, and his whole persona changed when he fed the puppy. He did not at all seem like himself, with that puppy, and when he left I had to ask my mother, was that my grandfather Mitch or was that Jake? She showed that was obviously a stupid question, and that of course that was my grandfather… just in a different mood.
I’d never thought of it before, but even though my grandfather had a dog he loved as a boy, and had hunted with dogs, and had cats around, I’d never seen him stroke an animal or show true affection for one before… When he touched an animal he was always a bit rough… not painfully so, just strong, and sort of disinterested. I always sensed he kind of wanted to treat them differently, but his attention to them was always very deliberately detached. As if he did not want to show that emotion He used to call me a “Cat Notcher” because I always had a cat in my arms. I am not sure if he thought that was good or bad, but it always made him laugh. On rare occasions he’d pat my cat on the head, but it was obvious he did not want to really interact with it. In my dream though my grandfather tenderly cared for the puppy, giving it milk and soft food and stroking it, cuddling it and talking to it and playing with it… that was all very out of character.
I think he said in the dream that “this dog will likely outlive me!” He was very old though he did not seem old at all. He seemed to be expressing that he could get attached to this dog, because he would not live to see it die. I remember that he was very fond of his childhood dog, which had of course died, and I think after that he did not want the closeness of another animal because he did not want to feel the pain of loss. He kept a certain distance because of that, but I never thought of it that way.