Thanks for all the good advice Kata... all good points. I never knew there was a connection between passive agressive and lazy, but now that you mention it, I can see it. I guess putting off telling someone they are annoying you until you boil over is a form of procrastination. Procrastination could be construed as laziness. It mean I don't want to deal with it right now,
and if you don't want to deal with politely correcting some misunderstanding, or gently pushing for a change in soething ASAP, then there are probably a lot of work related things you wouldn't want to deal with ASAP either.
That is something I'll have to watch for in my own character, because I tend to be very passive... and occasionally agressive... and I have been known to put off things that are unpleasant till a more oportune time, when I am "in the mood" to deal with them, and I can't be doing that at work. One of the big benefits of being self employed is that SOMETIMES, you can go with your own timing, but working for someone else has to be done on their time. Very, very good point.
Another point, which is very possible now that wasn't as much so then... Research before you interview. Find out about the company, what they do, and how many employees they have, their pay scale, their clients, their goals... and anything else you can find out, and yes it is OK to talk to disgruntled ex employees. Just consider the source. One thing I have learned is that they aren't the only ones who can be picky. It's OK to cull a place if they don't meet YOUR requirements.
Booklover mentioned something that I followed up on today. She said that women should wear a suit skirt to the interview, and not a pants suit... amazing this day in age, and I had not thought of it. I am not sure that would hold, everywhere you apply, but I think the job I am going after, would appreciate a new skirt suit, over the panit suit I'd picked out, so I went and bought one. I got a great deal on a suit at Belks. 40 percent off Yay!!! At any rate I will be more confident in a suit from Belks, and that is half the battle.
There are two techniques for job hunting, rapid random inquiries... (five a day) and focused interviews, once you've narroed your search and picked which JOB you WANT, and established there is an opening you are qualified for. Seeking work, in mass is for situations where there are many jobs equally good, and you are looking for leads... focused query is for when there is that one SPECIAL job you want. REALLY WANT. I don't think I ever failed to get a job I WANTED once I had an interview. I remember one, that I wanted till I had the interview, but then... well I didn't want it anymore after finding out more. LOL They didn't want me either. They were a political group. We sort of agreed I wasn't suited to their politics. I could not have worked for them and remained true to my self. They lobbied to oppose import taxes and they were very very conservative. They were cute litte old men though, and I still smile when I think of them.
The hardest thing for most of us, on an interview is confidence. When I was 16 I got my job at Belks, and I was so terrified before the interview, I just sat there and and repeated to myself over and over (not out loud) "The Lord hath not given you a spirit of fear, but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind." It did help quite a lot, so that when I was finally in the interview, I managed to sound confident and talked very easily. It was no small feat, because the lady who interviewed me was always a sort of larger than life figure to me. I had tremendous respect for her, and she was an excellent judge of character. She really did seem to be scanning my very soul, and it was an unnerving process. Luckily she only used her powers for good. LOL
Later when I was in my twenties, I started being self employed and that was like applying for a job, every time I got a new clent... sometimes it amounted to six or eight interviews a day, going around trying to find business people who wanted artwork done. During that time I learned to be fairly fearless, but it's been a while, and I just hope my confidence holds... still the first time is always the hardest.
It's funny though, this is so different from either one of those processes. In those days there were plenty potential clients out there, and I just presented myself time after time, cold call walkins for the most part. Occasionally I'd get referals. I just asked a lot of people, and I heard at most 5 no's to every yes, but I soon learned those were the odds for cold calls. That always seemed to hold. I knew if I hit five places, I'd go home with work.
In this case though this is THE job I really really want. I need the pay which MUCH better than anything else available that I am qualified for. I am passionate about their cause... (local department of tourism) and I am very very determined to get the job. It's not a situation where I can hit five more places on the way home, and be just as well pleased, even if they hired me.
Therefore I am sinking all I've got into it, and believing I'll get the job. It's got to happen. On the bright side my odds with job interviews is better considerably better than cold calls looking for work. I'd say 14 out of 16 interviews resulted in jobs for me, of course that was back then, and this is now... and times really really have changed, but still. I usually do well on an interview.
To me a key factor is just enough tension, and not too much. You need to be very alert, and aware of what you are saying, but not so terrifed you can't speak cohearantly. LOL You don't want to be in that relaxed mode where you just ramble aimlessly about everything, like you would with an old lady you happen to meet at the grocery store, but not freaked like someone's holding a gun to your head. It's really exactly half way between... with elements of both. You appear just as comfortable as you would chatting about the weather, but really you're out to get what you want out of this conversation... kind of like when you bring up politics near the time of an election... a calculated mention, no need for a soap box, just a calculated mention of key details. You aren't debating, you are convincing, and you have to keep it under the radar, that you are slanting it heavily. You also have elements of having a gun to your head, not the panic, but the crystal clarity of having to do something like your life depends on it... and the way time slows down, in an emergency. The way trained medical personel get really clear and focused instead of feeling panic when a heart stops. It's a cold feeling in a way, devoid of strong emotions, and full of clear thoughts. Towards the end you might feel a little warmth, but overall answers are instinctive, but in order to trust your instincts you have to have thought about this subject many times before.
The other key factor for me is faith, and a little bit of will. You gotta believe that this isn't random, and that the universe loves you. Kata said, that you shouldn't act like you have got the job, but you should still, know deep down that you do. You have to expect good things, and know that you deserve them, for numerous reasons. You have to KNOW that you are the most qualified applicant possible, and anything you lack, you are more than motivated to learn, more than ready to hit the ground running the moment you are invited to come to work.
We all have many reasons for applying for jobs... money being the biggest one for us, but you can NEVER show that. You want to work for them because you will enjoy it. Because the job will MEAN something to you. Because you will get pride and satisfaction from working there, because that is what makes employees stay in their jobs, and do a good job, and that is what they are after. The bottom line is you want money and job satisfaction, and they want a job done well, by a satisfied employee.
The employeer doesn't care about your starving kids, or your house payment, or your car payment. They are paying you to care about their job. Therefore you have to CARE about the quality of your work, and be highly motivated. It CAN'T be all about the money, or the prestige, or all about YOU at all. It is about the task at hand, and how interested you are in the outcome and success of your work and their business... and you HAD BETTER care about their business, because contrary to the popular belief, if they don't make money, everyone there can loose their job, and if you don't produce, they'd be better off without you... and they will not fail to notice that at some point. You have to care about the whole organization and its success, or you won't be a good employee.
The main thing I'd have to say about working is that I never had a job I didn't like, and I've had 13 jobs working for others, and scores of freelance clients, and three businesses that I owned, or co-owned. Each job was greatly satisfying, fun, and really cool... and no two were alike at all. Each situation is different, and no matter how experienced you are, there will be things that are new. New people, new equipment, new procedures to learn, and it is all just a blast. Work is fun!!! That doesn't mean there aren't days when you wish you didn't have to go cause someone you know is planning an outing you won't be able to go to, or that you wake up tired, and wish you could stay in bed, BUT once you get to work, and start up your day, it starts to get interesting. Sure there are times when you start getting sleepy, or feeling sickly or whatever, same as you would at home, but at work you have to rise to the occasion, and pretend you feel like a million bucks. That can be challenging, and sometimes I wasn't always that good of an actress, but in general you have to stay pumped. It isn't that hard, considering how interesting most jobs are.
Of course if you have a GOOD job there are the backstabbers. I've lost two jobs, just cause my immediate supervisor's favorite guy in the office thought I was pretty. I mean two different women totally set me up. One woman was responsible for putting my work folders into a basket so I'd know what to do, and she hardly put anything in there. I'd finish and ask for more, and she'd say there isn't anything else, so I started taking extra time on the projects to make them really spiffy. Then later, she went to the owner of the company and told him I wasn't doing enough. I told him I was doing everything I was told, but somehow... well he believed her. There was another time, when my job encompassed three different jobs in three different parts of the office. Whenever I went to the front counter to discuss projects with customers, the female VP who was sleeping with the company owner, would come sit at my pasteup desk, to "work" in my place, and she'd move everything I was working on, she'd just toss my work in a pile, and loose half of it. It would take me half an hour to straighten out the mess... and you know what? I never figured out that these two women were out to get me, till it was too late!!! Women can be really really evil. As I look for a new workplace I am kinda glad that I am not so pretty anymore. LOL
So I've rambled but my key points are,
Don't procrastinate.
Do your homework, and research before you interview.
If you are going to be picky, be picky before you get the job, it is OK to decide that there are some companies you DON"T want to work for.
Be assertive, not agressive or passive.
Dress as well as you possibly can.
Show confidence, and feel confident.
Follow numerous leads, and follow up on the one(s) that shows promise, and you really WANT!
Use positive inner conversation with yourself to stay calm before the interview.
Keep your cool, and stay focused on what you want to acomplish during the interview. Your interviewer will lead the interview, but it's OK to gently nudge the conversation in the direction you want it to go. It's just like your resume, tell them what helps you, and leave out the parts that don't.
Promote your agenda without being obvious.
Believe that you will succeed.
Demonstrate that you are truely interested and informed about your job.
Have faith, and very discretely assert your will on a subliminal level. DO NOT allow yourself to be obvious in doing this.
Make your reasons for wanting the job, about the job, and pleasing your boss, not about your needs... the last thing an empoyeer wants is someone who only thinks of the check, or expects to draw a check for doing nothing.
Once you get your job, have fun with it, stay postive and don't dread or feel like it is going to be bad, because it won't be. Working is fun.
Watch out for backstabbers and people who try to sabatoge you. Stay PUMPED about your job. When you stop feeling pumped, it is time to either rekindle your romance with your work, or look for another job.
How long should you keep a job? It depends on how you feel about it. If you love your job then work hard to keep it for as long as possible. Stay highly motivated, and throw all you've got into it If you hate it, then find another job and quit. You are an employee not a slave. You too, can end your employment. Generally now days, few jobs last forever, and most people jocky for better jobs constantly, but in general you want to keep a job for at least two years, and longer if it is a good one. If you can't though, and you realize that you are no longer enchanted, or that they aren't either, for god's sake start job hunting again and prepare to move on. Work should be enjoyable, and I've always found it to be. I've worked in retail, food service, art, publishing, printing, advertising, sign painting, real estate, and sales. It all feels good. Always look on the bright side of your job. ;D
Kim