Post by Wunderkind on Apr 26, 2006 14:41:11 GMT -5
I am not sure of who I am right now, and therfore not sure of who I should be. My normal advice would be to be myself, but how can I be myself when every part of who I am is telling me to get mad and tell someone off right now. I don't want to do that, because it is a place I like to be, but how can I like a place where I step on thin ice, where my opinions are limited, where bashing a race is okay, but telling them what I think about said bashing is not? It could possibly be the only place I will ever find that has people like me, but if this is how people like me act, I don't think I want to be myself anymore. They aren't perfect and I won't ask them to be, but I just... I just thought they'd be better than that, better than this. I guess I'm the odd ball? I posted my apologies for an unintended insult, but on the inside I'm enfuriated. I'm mad because I could not get my point across, I'm mad because I was punished for my poor word choice (of course), I'm mad because they can't be punished for their bashing. I'm just so confused and lost, and can't find any direction. If this is wrong, and that is right,how can they say I'm wrong. I suppose this means it is okay to intentionally bash just about everyone, but not okay to unintentionally bash one person. It goes to show?
But what if I was in the wrong after all? And I just can't see how. I think I may deny my kin side for a while, embrace that I am human, not a unicorn in a human body. I still have my soul, and I can still recall who I was, but what I see just depresses me deeply. I know those who are different, who are original, and because of thme I feel worse because I am doing the same thing I was telling them not to do. Putting a whole race in a pot together and throwing it away, but I can't help it. I just don't want anything to do with it.
*edit*
Okay now I'm just mad. I posted that I needed to take a break to sort my feelings. And...I got deleted. Dude? o.O Well,now I definately know that place isn't for me.
But what if I was in the wrong after all? And I just can't see how. I think I may deny my kin side for a while, embrace that I am human, not a unicorn in a human body. I still have my soul, and I can still recall who I was, but what I see just depresses me deeply. I know those who are different, who are original, and because of thme I feel worse because I am doing the same thing I was telling them not to do. Putting a whole race in a pot together and throwing it away, but I can't help it. I just don't want anything to do with it.
*edit*
Okay now I'm just mad. I posted that I needed to take a break to sort my feelings. And...I got deleted. Dude? o.O Well,now I definately know that place isn't for me.